The day we tried

The day we tried

A Story by Joseph Tafoya
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Well I don't have a title I like yet if you guys come up with a better title let me know I'll appreciate that.

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The war started in the year of 2079 destroying everything we had such as our homes, our cultures, our religion, and our whole way of life. Cladus, my home planet was beautiful for 5 million years. It is home to Cladians my people and is a planet full of colors and life with exotic animals and plants like no other. The sky was filled with Dishols flying in the sky with their beautiful gigantic colorful wings. OH how I loved seeing the unearthly birdlike creatures souring or the Chalas stalking their pray in huge groups in our forests hoping for a Cladian to make the wrong move so they can pounce and have a meal. These scaly doglike gray skinned lion tailed animals are unique and leaves you in awe when seen up close but also give a person the shivers and sends chills up your spine because of their blood thirsty look in their eyes and sharp fangs and huge size. I wish I can tell you about the animals on my planet all day but sadly I can’t. 45 years ago Cladus was invaded by a near planet called Brodelea. They were never our enemies, we were actually partners in lots of things such as business, trading materials, weapons, cultures, and lots of other things. The war been going on forever I totally forgot what we are fighting over but what I can pull out is that a trade between the two planets have gone wrong and tension have risen over the years. Lots of people have forgotten why we are fighting even the soldiers themselves have forgotten why. It’s sad to say that the Cladians are losing the fight on our own planet because we have no vehicles on our planet Brodelea supplies us with flying machines and cars and other vehicles. All we have is natural resources and bows and arrows and other non-technologic weapons. This year, the war is still going but most villages are camps instead of homes to my people. We are treated poorly under the Brodlealian rule. Our planet is their planet now, this is not a free planet no more. It is a planet of blood and power. In the year of 2034, the war has started. It went from a little battle to a war massacre. I and a few of my friends was playing outside in 2069, I was 10 years old at the time the Brodelea soldiers took my parents and killed them in front of me and changed our village to a camp. I remembered when I was 6 I saw floating silver and green tanks creeping through my village and people hiding in there box and sometimes straw homes. Last week I heard that a nearby village has burned to ashes and not one villager survived. “We Cladians have been oppressed for far too long we are born on this planet this is our home and we need to have to fight back for what is ours, they are not welcomed here and we need to show them that even though we are not as advanced in technology, we are powerful and it doesn’t matter that we are a peaceful planet and try to keep peace we can be violent and murderous people.” These were the words a very strong young 16 year old boy. He was an amazing leader and even at our breaking point he kept us fighting for what was right though death was involved. It was 67:09 pm at the time of the beginning of the rebellious war. Our war, the prisoner’s war. The bars exploded, doors kicked down, alarms screaming like Banshees everywhere in the prison. This day was the first day in forever we tasted our freedom. As well as blood (that is not ours) on our faces and hands. This was the first time we ever killed, I mean we are only teen’s still and we are brutally beating soldiers that deserves it. I know it’s bad that we’re killing but what if you have no choice and treated so badly that you reach the point where all you could think about barbarity is the only answer. Right when we escaped a big group of us walked together. We looked like zebras in a massive herd walking away from a crisis. It took us three hours to get to the closest village that was left so gruesome and sickening. The air smelled of ash and burnt rubber but we all knew it was rubber at all none of us just wanted to point it out. Walking through the village just made me so depressed because of the scene of seeing innocent people running through the streets crying in agony and homes full of mothers trying to protect their children and the remaining houses were not recognizable anymore. In most villages there is only a few that has brick homes but only a few and luckily (not really) this village had a few brick houses and even though parts of them were missing from them we still had a place to stay for a while before we had to go on.

© 2015 Joseph Tafoya


Author's Note

Joseph Tafoya
Note I wrote before but just for my self and I need feedback to see if you guys enjoy good or bad I need to improve my writing.

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Featured Review

A very good story. Just break-up the story. People are afraid of large paragraphs. I like the way you set-up the planet with history, giving reasons and purpose for the story. Each paragraph should described a place or meaning for the tale. I like the story. Will there be more? Thank you for sharing the excellent tale.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You did very well. I liked the story. Was a worthwhile read.
Joseph Tafoya

8 Years Ago

Thank you.
Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You are welcome.



Reviews

Very nice work..Great story ;) thanks for sharing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Joseph Tafoya

8 Years Ago

Thx very much
A very good story. Just break-up the story. People are afraid of large paragraphs. I like the way you set-up the planet with history, giving reasons and purpose for the story. Each paragraph should described a place or meaning for the tale. I like the story. Will there be more? Thank you for sharing the excellent tale.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You did very well. I liked the story. Was a worthwhile read.
Joseph Tafoya

8 Years Ago

Thank you.
Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You are welcome.

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Added on May 29, 2015
Last Updated on June 2, 2015

Author

Joseph Tafoya
Joseph Tafoya

Kennewick, WA



About
Well there's really not much to know besides I'm a young writer and I like to write about life on how teens like me see it or how anybody sees life. I can't find a genre for my writing. But my nicknam.. more..

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