Pity The Crying Child

Pity me, the little one... for i have always been outdone...

 

Pity me,

The poor baby.

Lost in a sea of doubt

Not knowing where to turn

How to pay for an education

When I barely learn

 

Pity me,

The crying child.

Lost in the forgotten world

Everything seems blurred

No reason to live

Nothing else to give

 

 

Pity me,

The doubting one.

Lost in the pain

Nothing there, nothing gained

Wallowing alone in the night

Never knowing wrong from right

 

Pity me,

The little one.

Lost in this life

Feeling every bit of strife

Cannot escape captivity

So everyone please, pity me...

 

Author's Note

Thank you Liliana (one of my muses)... I had a bad day and nothing seemed to help until my muse liliana graced me with her words.

I don't want to be pittied... It just came to me...

Reviews

[Enigma]

Wow!! What an awesome piece of writing...
Don't pity yourself...
Everyone has bad days, everyone makes mistakes and everyone gets through it. So will you...
Till then just have patience and faith...^_^
ABout the poem, it gave me a heartache. I feel sad that you're going through such a hard time. Stay strong!!
My best wishes to you!!
And by the way... I loved the form, the flow, the rhyme, the word choice...practically everything about your poem... It was stunning, I tell you!!
OUTSTANDING WRITE!! WELL PENNED!! *hugs*

[Moflo]

This was good, I liked the repetition a lot. Very profound. This piece is so welly described. It definitely has a strong effect on the reader. Nice write.

[Voice]

Awesome...I love the way it flows. Just a totally amazing write with tons of emotion...

Voice

[Wanda S. Paryla]

Nice write - it flowed nicely, and the rhymes make sense. I like that; it seems like you didn't have to reach far to create the rhyme and flow. I cannot relate to the topic, but I can sympathize. Very emotional piece, thanks for sharing!!

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A nice piece....Everyone goes through times in there lives when the world seems against them. If we battle hard and believe we will come though the otherside a stronger and wiser person. My favourite line it this piece is - Cannot escape captivity. It as a powerful line, emotional line. I took it as being trapped by life and cannot escape.....A wonderful write!

[Ariadne President]

Cool! It's a great idea that you wrote in my opinion! I didn't see any poetic errors in your works,so that's all I can say for you! Keep writing and take care

[siri]

this is a good piece but smiling is way cooler then pity ill make you smile if that works but i rather do that then pitty you! but besides the point this piece is awesome beautifully writting great job thanks for sharing my friend!

[These Haunted Hallways]

I loved this one hun. *Hugs* :)

Yea, Im with ya on this one cause, i can relate as well. Not as a child, but as an adult. I had everything when i was a kid, it's just now that i dont have a stable job, gf, house, cool car, or a place of my own. I just have my education and my broken heart, well, and my family, too hehe. I know Ive said this a thousand times b4 lol. It sucks big time, i know. But maybe one day tho, somethin good will happen. Gotta play the lottery or somethin hehe. Loved ur poem. Spoke plenty, and it was plenty that i could relate to. Great Job! ;)

B.A.

[Annalisa]

I can't say I can relate or understand this, I've never wanted to be pitied even when I feel like s**t. But I did enjoy the poem, especially the lines:

The little one.
Lost in this life
Feeling every bit of strife
Cannot escape captivity

Good work.

[Wolfwind Words]

A wonderful outpouring of see me hold me emotions!
I liked the flow and the images you were able to bring across in this. They were simple yet robust enough to keep the power of the momemt.

Great Poem!
Aaron

[Angelic Darkness]

For don't pity, gain strength and show all, especially yourself. AD