Alone

Alone

A Poem by Inder24
"

i have just expressed my loneliness thrugh this poem

"
here i am lone,
feeling so alone ,
sitting at the last seat of bus, 
and sprinkling out all the dust.

no one came to see by ,
i had a feeling to die,
i just wandered my eyes where,
no one was alone there.

i was left out from everything,
nor did the stars came by to sing,
i just wished  that if i had a pair of wings,
i would vanish from here with a blink.

now i m thinking of past,
where nothing was peace at last,
if god would have helped me then,
i wouldnt have been so alone then.

but then a thought ran in my mind,
i m the lone one guilty here,
cause I wasn't able to find,
a single friend to remove my fear

© 2013 Inder24


Author's Note

Inder24
please ignore grammer problems and do tell your honest opinion

My Review

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Featured Review

I think you are brave for structuring a rhyme in English. Despite the grammar problems, I enjoyed this poem because you give it strength in the end: The realization that this loneliness does not make you a victim, but the cause.... and although it points a finger at you as the reason for the loneliness, it also empowers you as the only person who can do something about it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the review !! it means a lot !! :) . yep we are only responsible for our own deeds !!



Reviews

I think you are brave for structuring a rhyme in English. Despite the grammar problems, I enjoyed this poem because you give it strength in the end: The realization that this loneliness does not make you a victim, but the cause.... and although it points a finger at you as the reason for the loneliness, it also empowers you as the only person who can do something about it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the review !! it means a lot !! :) . yep we are only responsible for our own deeds !!
a poem which many would be able to relate to, a poem showing how important friends are. liked it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

Thanks :)
Prritiy

8 Years Ago

welcome :)
This poem is very personal and I love it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

It sure is !!
Now maybe you'd found friends already or might be here in this site. This poem is a well versed thoughts deep inside of you how important the friendship is. Good one and nicely rendered with rhyme scheme.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

yep , I am now having friends in good strength ! :D n thanks for the review
Ency Bearis

8 Years Ago

YOU'RE WELCOME
I really liked how personal the poem was and how clear the points were made, I thought that the emotions really shown through and that this poem can be really relatable to others. Good Job

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

thank you :)
Ah, the expression of emotion in this poem is clearly seen here. My favorite stanza is the last one because it's the conclusion to your loneliness and depression depicted in the poem. I also liked how you set a scene and you described your desires to fly away from the solitude. To me, this poem has a deep meaning to it. Good job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inder24

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Don't be afraid to have a friend. Try to have at least one. Who knows, if you get used to it, then probably you can have more. Winning friends is like gaining the biggest prize ever. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Inder24

8 Years Ago

thanks dhaye! , actually i had written this poem 5 years ago.. and at that time i was always alone.. read more
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Ah, okay. I'm happy for you. :)
Inder24

8 Years Ago

:)

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542 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 9, 2013
Last Updated on May 9, 2013
Tags: Loneliness, alone, rythmic, self

Author

Inder24
Inder24

Ahmedabad, India



About
well, i usualy write songs and poem when i m depressed or sad more..

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