Chapter 1

Part I: The Middle
August 14, 2004
Braydon Turner's POV:
I've heard people say you do what you gotta do. Sometimes you just have to do things that aren't right, even though you know it's wrong. I really never understood why I agreed to go with Jordan tonight. I knew the minute she asked it wouldn't be a good idea. It's just that these parties always end up chaotic. Either the cops get called, someone later gets pregnant, or someone has to take a trip to the hospital.
The only thing that's happened when I've been present was when the cops crashed the party at Blake Smith's house. I got in trouble for possession of alcohol, and fortunately I hadn't been smoking. Due to the fact that I wasn't yet drunk, they let me off with a warning. The county police officers weren't too fond of my friends and me, but then again, we had never given them a reason to like us in the first place.
So with all of that said, I needed to be extra cautious.
I really didn't even want to go. My girlfriend Jordan insisted since it was her best friend Alyssa's party, and everyone who was anyone was attending. But the thing was, everyone going to this party was a nobody. We all knew nothing wouldl ever become of us, we would never make something of ourselves. We were all nothing but a house full of drunken losers thinking the world owed us something.
The only way to get her to shut up from whining is to agree to go, so that's what I did. The plan was to pick her up at eight o'clock sharp, since her mom was leaving at 7:30 and she needed the extra thirty minutes to get ready. We'd been dating for almost a year now. Why? I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. I guess the only reason is because it was comfortable and I really didn't have anyone else. That is really low, I'm aware of that, but what else was there to do? Nothing. She was in love with me. And I was stuck.
"What about church tomorrow?" my mom questioned when I told her I was going to Dustin's. (Which happened to be a lie, if you didn't catch on.)
I sighed. "Do I have to go?" I hated that place. Church was nothing but a place for hypocrites and people who think they're better than everyone else. Better than people like me. And every time I went, I felt the vibe that showed me they were thinking that.
"Yes. It would mean a lot to me if you did. I don't like going by myself."
My dad was out of town, as usual, so of course she would want me to go. But even if he was in town, he wouldn't have gone anyway.
"Okay, I'll go."
She smiled wide. "Thanks, Braydon. I mean . . Cal. It's Cal, right?"
I nodded and quickly exited the room. For some reason my new name embarrassed me when it came from my mom's lips. Cal is my middle name, and I went by that when my friends were around. Don't ask why, because to this day I still don't know. Cal seemed more tough and macho. I fit in better with that name rather than Braydon did.
As always, I was on time to Jordan's house. I pulled up in my cheap 1991 Ford Mustang. No matter how old it was, I loved it. The air conditioning sometimes broke on me in the summer, but I didn't mind. I just rolled the windows down and let the wind blow in my face. I almost liked it better than the actual AC.
After waiting in the car for three minutes, (I never went to her door anymore. Call me a coward; you would never understand.), she was in my sight. I noted the extra amount of black eyeliner that layered around her dark brown eyes, along with her bright blue eyeshadow that covered her eyelids. Her black dress hung right below her butt, knowledgeable of all of the boys she knew would be staring at it. Her neckline hung right in her cleavage, showing off her huge b***s that every male in the world would love to touch, (sorry ladies, it's the truth), but her mouth smelled of smoke which strangely turned me off, considering I used to be a heavy smoker.
"Hey," she said in the voice she thought was sexy as she got in the car.
"Sup," I replied without any intentions.
 "Are you excited?" she asked enthusiastically.
"I suppose."
"You're not acting like it." She pouted.
I shrugged.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Seriously Cal you can tell me."
"Nothing is wrong."
"I know there is." She wouldn't stop. She always did this.
I remained silent. I hoped she wouldn't continue nagging me if I did so.
She sighed, and her eyes lingered on my silhouette for a long while. I then pulled up to the party house and turned off the ignition.
"Look Jordan," I began. I tried my best to explain how I felt without hurting her feelings, because to be honest, I didn't want to be there with her. "I really don't want to stay here long. This doesn't seem like it will be that much fun if you ask me, and I'd just rather do something else."
She seemed to be pondering about what I'd just said before she answered. "Okay. We don't have to stay long." A smile spread across her orange face. She obviously had something else in mind; something that would bring her pleasure. "We could go back to my house. Mom went out of town with Phil this weekend to Florida. They won't be back until Tuesday. We have the whole house to ourselves." She nudged my elbow, encouraging me to play along.
I wasn't stupid. I think we all know what she was wanting to do, and don't get me wrong; I'm a guy. Of course I wanted to. But not like this. Not with her.
Despite my wishes, I agreed to go back to her house later, just so I didn't have to stay long. Besides, I already told my mom I wasn't coming home. I decided to drink as much as possible, however not past my limit, just so I didn't have to really think when I went back to her house. Yeah, I would probably drive home drunk. Stupid and ignorant, I know. Yes, I would more than likely go to church in the morning with a hangover. Disrespectful and deceitful, I know. But at the time, none of that mattered to me. I didn't care. If I got caught, so what? My life was not a gift in my opinion during this time and I didn't cherish it.
I didn't want to actually remember everything that happened with Jordan that night. She just wasn't someone I wanted a memory of like that. She wasn't that important to me.
And after I walked through the door of the house party, I forgot everything that mattered in my life. Tonight, I was no longer Braydon Turner.