I Have The Mumps.

Childrens excuses for days off school

I have the mumps and itchy lumps,
my tummy's awful sore.
I have a cough, my arm's fell off,
my throat is red and raw.

I have big spots and polka dots,
flashing before my eyes.
My legs are broke, no it's no joke,
as if I would tell lies.

I've got the flu, Atchoo Atchoo,
I'll just miss school today.
Of course I'm sick, no it's no trick,
oh what a thing to say.

I've got the shakes and my head aches,
it hurts so very bad.
And what a bind, I've gone night blind,
why are you laughing Dad?

I almost forgot about tooth rot,
and frostbite of the toes.
I feel unwell, I cannot smell,
because of my blocked nose.

I'm far too ill to take a pill,
for they just makes me gag.
I feel so sick, please Daddy quick,
pass me the paper bag.

No need to phone Dr.SawBone,
he is a busy man.
I need no shots or creams for spots,
just soda and a fan.

My speech is slurred, my vision blurred,
oh mummy I should rest.
Now that's not fair, as if I'd dare,
to dodge my English test.

You're not impressed, I should get dressed,
and stop this sad charade.
My Dads no fool, he phoned the school,
and said I'd overlaid.

Author's Note

Just a rough idea for how children try and dodge school days.

Reviews

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

Boy oh boy. I think I've used just about every one of these excuses. And most of them work if you know how to act in the slightest.
I still try to use them sometimes tho it's not as easy now. Every kid wants to miss school once or twice, well actually every day.
This was creative, and the flow was amazing. And it kept me laughing.
I hope to read more now (:

-Marie-

[Becky C Strukamp]

I wish I had this to read to me my teenage sons a few years ago, they had more excuses than one could imagine, till I read this, it would have given them a few more, LOL, totally delightful to read, wow, you awe me with this, I love em.

[Baz]

Ha ha!! Wonderful poem, shadow. Using such a strict and limiting rhyming scheme can often result in forced rhymes, but not a bit of it in this case. Perfect flow throughout, as if I should expect anything less from you. Simply marvelous.

[J Todd Underhill]

This kind of reminded my of the late great Shel Silverstein, I am not sure if you meant it, but I am a fan of his works, both children's and adults pieces. This was every bit as good as his!

[Daytonight]

This is so very true and what makes this poem so very charming. Well done! Keep on penning.