she

she could be who i was.

she walks barefoot on asphalt

she dances to the dawn

she loses shoes to the ocean

and she cries when the sun is gone

Reviews

[Gobinder Singh Dhindsa]

Beautiful.. Pen On.. Do u read mine 2 Time, Why? and who is a poet.. If possible then give ur reviews..

Regards,
Lucky

[Becky]

My mind just imploded with the imagery, and the symbolism, and the metaphors, and all those other lovely things that you managed to cram about 457298457249 of into 24 (I'm bad at counting, so I could be off) words.

I'm just not going to comment on how brilliant you are anymore.

But this poem. It could mean so many different things depending on who you are and what your story is. We all tend to mold what we experience/read to our ideas of reality and our experiences--but who's to say what the true meaning is (besides you)? Certainly not I. I'll continue completely spamming your account now...

[.......]

i can sense a empty feeling in my gut when reading this. Nicely done

[KurKota]

Creates an image of a young girl, free spirit.....simply enjoying life in the moment.

[Circe]

she is ethereal and so free, the feeling lodges in your chest cavity... exquisite piece. hope you keep writing more, and have an inspiring new year :)

[Wolfwind]

I like this. The sun, when it's not there, leaves a empty feeling, for some things just can't be done in the cold.

Nice Ink!
Aaron

[Alm]

Thank you! Though the night has many wonders as well.

[Tai Ryens]

At first, this was quite confusing to me. Upon greater pondering, I've found few intriguing meanings attached to this poem. Perhaps it's about a young lass, whom would always dance and dream of ballet, yet lost inspiration upon having her tapping shoes confiscated and wept when the dream was gone? Perhaps the shoes themselves stood for talents, any talent whatsoever. Anyhow, this is a finely crafted piece. Keep up the poems, Alyssa.

[Alm]

Thank you, Tai! (as always) You have a unique way of looking at things. I honestly don't know about the girl. Sometimes story fragments come up and they come in poetry.

again, (though redundant) thank you! You have no idea how much I appreciate this.

[Tai Ryens]

My greatest pleasure, Alyssa.