Twenty-two

Half in and out of sleep as people came through to poke at her and prod Remiel out of the bed, Genevieve tried to rest. They hooked her back up to the IV Brandon had detached her from. Apparently, he’d also removed a catheter, but in her semi-wakeful state they didn’t put it back.

As a nurse was taking her blood pressure, having woken her for what seemed like the fourth time, she found herself wondering what Farrin was doing. Wondering if he needed help or support. He’d made poor choices, but he wasn’t a bad person. Not really.

“Genevieve, you should try to get more sleep.” Remiel looked as though he’d heard her and disapproved.

“Remiel-” She murmured her protest as the nurse left.

“He attacked Alpha Germain. Our Alpha, as he was claiming his mate.” His golden eye was glowering. “He should be put down, you won’t find any of us that say different.”

“No mercy. You will rise from the ash.” The Sibyl would not. It was too much. She tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom.

“Why are you angry with me?” Remiel sounded agitated as he came to assist her.

“Twisted rope and thread.” Genevieve shook her head sadly.

“You’ve shut me out, mate.” He escorted her to the bathroom door. “Talk to me. Open yourself to me.”

“Twisted rope and thread.”

“I can’t know what you mean unless you…” Remiel followed her into the bathroom. “Do you love me?”

She nodded, reaching out to touch his chest before curling her hand and pulling it back. “No trust. No mercy. The Sibyl will burn, you will rise from the ash. Walk away. Seek the other.” 

“No. Genevieve… I love you. I won’t.” Remiel pulled her close, rubbing his chin against the top of her head. “Let me show you.”

“No trust. No mercy.” She pushed him gently. “Go.”

“Mate.” He gripped her hard. “I love you. I trust you.”

“Go.” It would be easier, less painful for him if he just left. 

The phone in the room began to ring, he stepped out to answer it leaving her to do what she needed to do in the bathroom. The sound of his voice, quiet on the other side of the door made her heart ache. Genevieve turned the water on to drown it out, letting it run until she was ready to come out, not turning it off as she dried her hands.

Stepping out, the room was empty. She curled onto the hospital bed and pressed her face into the pillow muffling her sobs. It would be better this way but it hurt. A piece of her soul was being carved out. Losing her mate, her pack… death would be a relief. Not even the glass could ease this pain. Cold pressed to her head and sent her down into nothingness.

“Has she woken up yet?” The voice was familiar but Genevieve didn’t feel like opening her eyes to see who it was.

“Not yet.” A hand stroked her head. “She may be starting to come back around now though… Yes. Sibbi, open your eyes.”

Her eyes opened grudgingly. She didn’t want to be awake.

“I know. But you need to be.”

“What do you know?” The familiar voice wasn’t pleased.

“She doesn’t want to be awake. Being awake hurts as if there’s a gaping wound in her soul.” Farrin was looking down at her with red eyes. “That kind of agony makes the emptiness I felt looking for her feel like a warm bath.”

“Remi needs her. Her pack needs her.” 

Nine Inch Nails’ Something I Can Never Have began to spill out of her mouth at a whisper’s volume.

“Is she suicidal?” Dr. Latro’s face came into view. “That song doesn’t sound healthy.”

“She’s looking forward to burning to death. It can’t hurt more than this and it might not hurt afterward.” He laid a cool rag across her forehead. “You never told me why you saved me.”

“I didn’t do it for you.” Ethan’s voice came from somewhere in the room. “When Mrs. Latro said that there have to be two, the Sibyl and the Servant, I understood. When you get struck down she’ll burn to death. If you’re spared she’ll live.” 

“Mercy. Justice and mercy. The scales will fall into balance.” Genevieve sighed and curled on her side.

“She knew you would understand. And she wants to assure you that justice will be done. Mercy alone is not just.” 

“Is she awake enough to eat?” Dr. Latro adjusted her arm untangling the IV. “I want to get food into her, it might help her mental state.”

“If she was willing to eat she’d be awake enough. But she isn’t. You may need to use a tube.”

“That’s a little premature.” Dr. Latro sounded sharp and deeply annoyed. “Ms. Geary, I need you to try to eat.”

There will come a time

You'll see, with no more tears

And love will not break your heart

But dismiss your fears

Get over your hill and see

What you find there

With grace in your heart

And flowers in your hair

(Mumford and Sons. “After the Storm” Sigh No More, Island Records, 2009, track 12.)

“As far as she’s concerned, she’s already dead. She won’t eat. Her body will continue until she’s done what needs to be done and then she’ll burn. She no longer has any hope or intention of fighting it.”

Genevieve was shifted in the bed and her head turned forcibly to look into the Alpha’s eyes. “Luna. Vivi, you-” She leaned close and inhaled. “Mr. Mesny, you can push her into a better frame of mind?”

“You’ve seen what happens when I try to push her, and I wasn’t even pushing hard. She has to do it herself.” Farrin sounded exhausted.

The creaking of a chair and the snapping of fingers preceded Farrin’s departure from her view and Ethan’s entrance. “The pack didn’t separate from you, you separated from them. You’re hurting yourself.”

You heard my voice

I came out of the woods by choice

Shelter also gave their shade

But in the dark I have no name

(Mumford and Sons. “Hopeless Wanderer.” Babel, Island Records, 2012, track 9.)

“Don’t give me that s**t. Sit up and eat. He says you have things to do? You need to be up for the task. You’re going to give us the chance to choose.”

There's three ways out of every box

Fall out the bottom

Or you crawl out the top

There's three ways

Out of every, every box

(The Wallflowers. “Three Ways.” Red Letter Days, Interscope, 2002, track 5.)

Genevieve sighed and tried to sit up. Ethan deserved better than what he was facing right now, she shouldn’t make it worse.

“What’s the third way?” Alpha Latro asked with something bordering on amusement.

“Burn it to the ground.” Farrin answered quietly. “There is more than one way this can go. She’s fond of Ethan and his mate; she doesn’t want to give him trouble.”

“I haven’t met her yet.” Ethan snorted.

“You will.” Farrin rummaged through a bag, “You need these.”

“She needs them. They’re for her protection.” Ethan started to put the necklace back on her.

“No trust. No mercy.” She gently pushed his hands away.

“No, she has me for that.” Farrin sounded so tired she wanted to tell him to find a place to go to sleep. “I can’t go to sleep just yet, Sibbi. I’ll sleep at home.”

“She should be eating and moving around before you take her anywhere. And I think Brandon will hunt you down like a dog if you whisk her away without letting him say goodbye.” Dr. Latro’s disapproval and concern at the idea of her being taken anywhere was palpable.

“We have to go home. Father woke, and he has to be confronted. The place mother was killed has to be visited. I don’t know how to do any of it, Sibbi has to be there.” 

“I’ll come with you. If I let her go alone, to burn to death, Remi will never forgive me.”

“You have your mate to meet. We go alone. It… it wouldn’t make much of a difference if you came. He won’t dig. It’s better if you all stay and heal. We’ll go into the dark together.”

“I would dig.” 

Farrin began to laugh tiredly, “You would. And then what? You’d only extend their suffering. Remiel would have a mate he doesn’t trust and can’t love, and they’ll both be limping along with an empty place where the other should be. This way he’ll have a chance to try again in time. It’s important to her.”

“She loves her mate.” Alpha Latro murmured, taking her hand. “Why do you keep saying he doesn’t trust her and can't love her? Because he does.”

“He loves the woman, he wants the wolf, he’s afraid of the Sibyl. He doesn’t trust her word, he doesn’t listen. He flinches from her strangeness.” Farrin paused. “The Sibyl is used to it. She hoped for better, but her hopes have been dashed over and over. It’s why we come as a pair, the Sibyl and the Servant. One alone is an unbearable existence.”

“It doesn’t sound like the Sibyl is alone.” Dr. Latro squeezed her hand. “Her pack wants her to stay, and Remi just needs to get used to her.”

“The time hasn’t passed. The choice could still be made. But he’ll have to come to it on his own, we have to go home. Congratulations, by the way. The King and the Huntress. They’ll make you very proud.”

“Why don’t you just tell me what I’ll be naming them.” The Alpha sounded dubious. 

“You can name them anything you want, it won’t change what they are.” Farrin came back to the bed and sat at her feet. “I ordered a pizza, Sibbi. Pepperoni, and garlic bread with extra garlic. I know you like things you can taste.” 

She couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“Something healthier might have been a better choice.”

“Maybe, but high in calories seemed like the best idea to me. And I know she’ll eat it. Healthy food is almost foreign to her. God forbid you offer her foreign food.” He was teasing, trying to needle her into a better state of mind.

The intro of Skillet’s Freakshow spilled out of her mouth.

Farrin’s mouth opened and closed before his lips twisted and he stood up giving her an annoyed look, “Would the freakshow like a drink?” 

Ethan coughed and cleared his throat, “I think I heard Rob listening to that.”

“She gave him her playlists.” Dr. Latro looked at Ethan with a frown. “They listen to the same music apparently, someone might keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t start getting odd.”

“Rob’s been odd.” Ethan sounded approving. “He’s a good kid, though. Reliable.”

“She felt comfortable with him when she met him, she doesn’t feel that often. Sibbi thinks the world of him.” Farrin came to perch at her side with a cup. “Anything of hers that Remiel doesn’t want he can have. She’s leaving everything behind.” He seemed to hear the song starting in her mind, “Don’t start singing that or they’ll leave here marvelling at your creepiness.”

Genevieve inclined her head and exhaled loudly. Changing the subject would be good, “The True Image?”

“We can talk about that later.” Farrin shook his head.

“What is the True Image?” Ethan’s tone was grimly curious. “It sounds ominous.”

“The True Image is a name, Veronica. Our mother. She wants to know about her, about what happened.”

“You said she was killed?” The Alpha sounded pensive when she spoke.

“I grew up being told she took her own life. She gave us away first. I was found, my sister wasn’t. But Sibbi showed me, she was murdered.”

“Who killed her?” Ethan’s question was quiet.

“The Beautiful.” The same one who would strike down the Page.

“That doesn’t narrow it down much, there’re probably a lot of names that could mean beautiful.” Alpha Latro frowned.

“Dara. Dara Mesny, our father. And he’s going to strike me down as she burns. If you ever need to wonder why I am the way I am…” 

“The True Image will tell us more.” She reached out and held his hand as she sipped the water. He’d made choices and he’d have to deal with the consequences, but he’d been bent out of his shape.

“Bent out of my shape. That’s a nice way of phrasing it.”

“Abusus non tollit usum.” Dr. Latro spoke almost to herself. “Your misuse doesn’t mean you can’t fulfil your purpose. The one Althea called, who told us about this kind of witch, mentioned that. He meant it about the Sibyl, but…”

“But it applies.” Farrin looked at her as she thought about how it would have been a nice tattoo if they’d lived. “Creepy, Sibbi.”

She shrugged slightly. If she was going to suffer the consequences of it, she was going to embrace it.

“Don’t tease me, Madeline.” His smirk made her choke on the water she was trying to drink.

“I don’t understand.” Dr Latro looked at them confused. And then to Ethan as if he might be able to explain it.

Shaking her head, trying to suppress her laughter, Genevieve smacked Farrin’s shoulder and his smirk turned to a vicious grin, “You laughed earlier.”

“Swear to god, I will cut your Roderick off. You’re trying to be creepier than I am.” Her voice had a different sound to it to her own ears. 

“I’m used to being the creepiest person in the room, and it’s not everyday that someone appreciates my humor.” Farrin took her hand again. “You should take turns speaking, I know it’s tempting to just let the Sibyl do it, but when I’m the only one who can hear you it isn’t ideal.”

“The difference is…” She hunted for the word.

“Your voice sounds less eerie now, Vivi.” Ethan came closer again giving Farrin a look that demanded he move.

She squeezed Farrin’s hand, “It sounds like my voice is strange now, it sounded right to me before.” 

“You really did embrace it.” Farrin gave her a pleasantly surprised smile. “That’s good.”

“Move.” Ethan squared his shoulders.

“I heard you. I’m not able to tune you out the way Sibbi can.” He rose reluctantly, releasing her hand. “I’ll go for a few minutes to give you the time you need.” 

Genevieve watched him leave the room with a feeling of apprehension. I’m not going far. You can’t get rid of me. The reassurance helped, but she still felt worried.

“Vivi?” Ethan blocked her view of the door. “You smell worried.”

“He left. It makes me anxious.”

“Why?” Dr. Latro frowned while studying her face.

“I let myself believe for a moment that everything would be ok. There’s a certain freedom in knowing it won’t be. But for some reason, I’m terrified of being alone.” She exhaled and looked up from the middle distance. “It’s funny isn’t it. I’m not afraid of dying, or of burning. But the thought of being alone makes my insides knot up in a way they never did before.”

“And the thought of leaving Remi alone?” Ethan looked down at her as if she were deliberately harming her mate.

“It’s better for him this way. There will be someone else for him after I’m dead. This way absolves him of guilt. It absolves you all of guilt.”

“Vivi.” Her name was a growl.

Even if you wanted to,

You can’t save me

You can’t fail me

I’m back up on my feet baby

On the way down

Is when I found out

That I got everything I need

(The Wallflowers. “Everything I Need.” Red Letter Days, Interscope, 2002, track 11.)

“And what is it you need?” Alpha Latro waved Ethan back.

“An end to the pain. Justice will come, mercy will not. Accepting that and not trying to change it, will free Remiel and … his pack. The pain will end for all of us.”