26th March, 2010

I wrote this on my eighteenth birthday.

 

Today’s the day I came into this world

A raw excuse waiting to be distributed as an epic

 

It was in a bright afternoon, eighteen years ago

The world adopted me with blind prospects of living

 

A new summer exploded around my fresh mind back then

But today the seasons seem to change only according to taste

 

I’m eighteen today and still trying to understand

The meaning of the lines which continue to grow beyond my palm

 

Someday when this poem will turn eighteen

Life will be devoid of calendars, birthdays and deaths

 

Because we all will soon be lost in the forest of possibilities

Forgotten by the darker depths of the reality we hid in the roots of our past

 

Since each of us born on a man-made occasion

Purposely made to overshadow the meaning of routine

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

I agree with Mike on this one, I don't see why you wrote it this way. Couplets are almost exclusively used when they rhyme, which yours don't, and when they contain ideas among themselves, which yours don't. You could easily have made this one stanza, or two; it's not so long that it needs breaks that frequent.

And maybe my math is wrong, but the poem will be eighteen when you're thirty-six. Unless we hit nuclear war, I think we'll still have calendars birthdays and deaths. That stanza is a touch weird.

It's an interesting look at life, if a little out there, but I'm left more puzzled by your form than your content.

[Rose Davis]

I like this it's very calm and sweet.. :))

[hanzabonanza]

I'm 18 too! I know how you feel-still trying to find your place in life, while it still rushes ahead and you try to keep up- lovely poems, a joy to read :)

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

I’m eighteen today and still trying to understand
The meaning of the lines which continue to grow beyond my palm

So am I, Ishan. So am I. This is very good. Reflecting back and looking forward, both with nice imagery. Well done and Happy birthday.

~True

[Brokensoul]

The meaning of the lines which continue to grow beyond my palm....

I really want to understand the meaning of the lines on my palm seriously. not bad ! Happy Birthday Ishan...!

[An owl on the moon]

You are on the journey and I'm thankful that you can share such insights with us. Life is a celebration, on birthdays.. on every day in some way. You let us see the epic alive in each of us.

[StacyPerry]

I like the last line. Good write.

[E. A. Fielder]

This is very well done. It feels, in a way like you feel insignificant in life while being wrapped up in trying to find meaning in everything. Back then everything was new and there was so much to learn but now you find yourself not as excited about the seasonal change and the birthdays that come along with it. Routine of life has dulled your senses and made you feel like March 26 was just another day. I think it's very reflective, very sad and very true. As you get older birthdays become more and more insignificant and a lot of times it takes the joy out of your life. Excellent write!

[ashley]

I like this. Good job! :D

[alesuriko]

Happy birthday hun. Great poem to commemorate the occasion. Very insightful and extremely intuitive. I enjoyed reading this very much. The personal, yet social commentary is wonderful. The ending line was right there in your face, great job. I particularly enjoyed the second to last stanza. "Forgotten by the darker depths of the reality we hid in the roots of our past".... wow! Now that is hard hitting. It's so emotional yet slightly decadent (which I adore). Bravo on this piece.