An Addict's Relapse

Love songs make me feel weird nowadays...

It's like, they promoted an addiction I had
It's like, they made me meditate on the wrong things

Sad feelings whenever I was single
Toxic behaviour whenever I was in a relationship

But then I reached a point were I realised that I was losing control.

I had to break the cycle:
realise that I was addicted to love
realise that the void I always felt couldn't be filled by another...

I had to heal. Had to focus on healing. Focus on myself and focus on the spiritual side of things.

And I was doing fine for a while. I was starting to take control of my emotions. Starting to change my mindset...

But you. Of course you. Had to appear just as I was confident I was managing to change.

Lust grew into infatuation. Infatuation into actual feelings.

I'm so upset with myself for falling into this old trap again
I'm on this site again
I'm listening to love songs thinking about a woman again...

And worst of all, I've fallen for the same type again. The toxic type that is emotionally distant and yet seems to know what to say to keep a man hooked for life

Well...
At least I'm genuinely sick of this behaviour
Perhaps this will be my last relapse...