The Vegan Inception Of Vaush

Comedy ethical dialogue. So its ethical arguments to encourage a big lefty political youtuber into seeing the moral responsibility in going vegan, dressed up in funny way so he'll watch when live.

So I’m trying to write a fictional comedy for a video where I’ll clip together sound bites of various youtubers.

It’s supposed to be cheesy to make fun out of the fact Vaush hates talking about veganism. And the year is 2026 to imagine his friends Shoeonhead and Hunter have gone vegan.

What edits would you make to the script? What jokes and funny verbal flourishes would you include?


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**Scene 1. Year 2026 Hunter and Shoe are working a food not bombs stall**

Sarah Connor (Terminator 2): June 21st, 2026. Judgement day.

Shoe: Jee it sure is nice to be living a low-impact vegan lifestyle, so massively reducing the harm we cause to other people and animals.

Hunter: I know, at least now I don't have to feel guilty about not wanting to watch that slaughterhouse footage. And it's great to be getting out and directly helping people whilst changing hearts and minds.

Shoe: Yeah there's no way we could reach as many people as guys like Vaush do with his youtube channel and based debate skills, but we all play our part.

Hunter: Totally, and it's great to see all the new people through the doors of the activist resource centre who said they were radicalized by Vaush.

Shoe: For sure, I just wish more of them would join us out here feeding the hungry, talking about our country’s unethical food system and arms sales. But, I guess a lot of them have bought into his line about there being no individual moral responsibility for our consumption under capitalism.

Hunter: Yeah, it's sad too because he understands the importance of going vegan, so if he could just push through that initial period where your taste buds change he could be learning to appreciate so much banging eastern food, plus be a lot healthier and happier for it.

Shoe: What if we invited him to go swimming with us at the beach and get him hooked on being fit and eating well?

[Cut to all the times Vaush has said he hates going outside.]

Shoe and Hunter: No, that won't work.

[Both phones buzz, as they look down they see a breaking news alert: “Bill passes into law guaranteeing free access to previously classified technology which allows people to design and enter others dreams for the radical potential it holds for people to be fully immersed into mind expanding philosophical thought experiments.”]

Shoe and Hunter: Bingo.

[1 week later]

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**Scene 2. Hunter and Shoe arrive at Vaush's house**

Hunter: Yo, we've built the sickest dreamscape for you, you down for this challenge?

Vaush: Alright, let's do this.

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**Scene 3. Vaush, Hyena, Conya, Shoe are all in a campervan driving to the beach.**

Shoe: This beach party is gonna be a-mazing.

Conya: Oh s**t, Hunter just texted asking if he could get a lift.

Vaush: Aw man, you know how much I hate driving back.

Conya: I know, but you know how skint he is at the moment, so I’m sure he could really use a break from it all.

Vaush: Okay, he is my friend, I wouldn't want to, aha, do a classism by excluding him.

[A few moments later]

Vaush: Yo, my man, how’ you doin?

Hunter: I'm good, thanks so much for the ride.

Shoe: I’ve got us covered on the soy sausages for the barbeque.

Hunter: Nice, yeah I haven’t had a barbeque in forever. I’ve just been doing a lot of cooking whole foods at home to save money, but I’ve learnt so many new recipes and food cultures.

Vaush: Fair dos, how long did it take for that to settle in?

Hunter: Yeah it definitely wasn’t overnight. I mean you know me and Shoe have been getting more into doing street advocacy, but I wouldn't automatically judge someone who was in a bad living situation and didn't have the headspace for it.

Vaush: Oh s**t, sounds like you think I’m still on the hook though aha.

Hunter: Aha well I guess I just think we should all be challenging ourselves to make the world a better place. The justification that you’re doing enough already and don’t need to change is a fairly standard psychological vice, but obviously one we can out grow.

Vaush: I dunno, I f*****g live for dairy, I’m lactose intolerant and I eat so much dairy every day and it’s all worth it.

Shoe: Well think of it this way, the same way it would be a small mark against your character if you failed to put the extra effort into showing up for your friends, I think we ought to put that effort into resisting a culture which normalises meat eating.

Vaush: Is it really fair to judge someone as morally bad if they’ve been brainwashed by wall to wall advertising telling them meat eating is essential though?

We need to be moving the narrative onto the systemic change we can make.

(All nod, but then…)

Shoe: But! Would it not be equally dangerous, if we didn’t challenge each other to do better?

(Insert funny example, c’mon man, look at when I stopped you ….)

Also, we know all we need is an active enough minority to generate the public will for legislation and food co-ops, on the way to a vegan world. Which will make healthy living choices the norm much faster.

Hunter: I understand that desire for there to be clear lines about what is and isn’t a moral obligation, but I think you know you would judge yourself if you stopped caring about anyone outside your circle of family and friends.

Vaush: True, true...

Hunter: Like say you won the lottery tomorrow and spent it all over a weekend on luxury items, you would feel guilty every time you saw a good cause or campaign you could have helped.

Vaush: No doubt...

Hunter: So, if we can admit we ought to donate some amount of spare cash to campaigns & charities under capitalism at some point in our life because it would help bring about a better world then;

(Vaush looks at Hunter willing him to find the ‘then statement’)

Hunter: ... we inherently are advocating individuals reduce their harmful consumption under capitalism to have the spare cash to donate to campaigns & charities.

(Vaush looks thoughtful but ready to be persuaded)

Hunter: Therefore it’s worth advocating that individuals reduce their harmful consumption and it’s worth drawing people’s attention to which consumer boycotts most effectively help bring about a world with higher total well-being in it, including veganism.

(Vaush, opens mouth to speak but Hunter presses on)

Hunter: But, if you need to experience that intuition for yourself, here goes, computer run scenario 2.

Vaush: Wait, what?

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**Scene 4: Vaush experiences winning the lottery and spending it all on a weekend bender**

BLM: You wasted all your winnings while people out here are dying?

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**Scene 5: Exits dreamscape and is back home**

Vaush: (Forehead sweating) Alright, I’m convinced, I’ll go vegan.

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**Writing Process**

Needs more memes for laughs.

I could include this hypothetical as another dream level but it’s pretty long already:

If a man lived his whole life from birth to the age of 50 in a vegan socialist commune, being a wildlife vet and left to do a talk for 1 day and had the choice of buying a bacon sandwich from a wage labour deli or vegan sandwich from a worker co-op, before returning to the commune to live out the rest of his life, then; it would be okay for their friends to ask why he chose to do the unethical act, drawing attention to his individual responsibility because there was zero to negligible alienation or social conditioning clouding his opinion.

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**Video Editing Process**

I’ll have to use a tonne of voice edits, copying a bunch of video automatic transcripts into a word doc, then pressing Ctrl+F for long matching sentences with the script, marking the time stamp and clipping them out in order of sequence once I’ve found them all.

For video footage I’ll need to find a way to use head cutouts over the top of movie clips or something.

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