I wish I could write pretty love words

I wish I could write pretty love words

A Poem by Island Hippy
"

some one told me that grief comes in waves - if that’s true than I am drowning.

"

it stands proud
sleek beautiful form
who knew a bottle could
be so poetic.

I liked how I felt
I was a better person - this way
not so depressing to be around
somehow more open ...

hell, I could stir fry in heels
little one over my shoulder
while playing go fish with the other
hale gleaming top to bottom
laundry folded neatly

when you’re on your way
from sober to tipsy
I justify this place - a sweet spot of sorts
because I am a responsible mom (after all)
to become anymore intoxicated was (is) not acceptable
what would the other moms think?

then you became a microscope
magnifying each flaw in the small hours
a best friend who treated me like s**t
but I latched on to you
each morning reviewing the day before

it didn’t shatter
the illusion - that I was coping
it was a gradual reveal
you know like one of those reality tv weight loss shows - but more s**t.
like the day I forgot to pick him up from kindergarten ...

I was in a perpetual state of negotiation
just one more ...
the buzz was temporary
like your presence

I wish I could write pretty love words
to remember you
to honor you my love
but you left me with a life I do not want -
with.out.you
with children who deserve far better
than me

I wish I could have written pretty love words
but I am empty

like this bottle.


© 2019 Island Hippy


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Reviews

This is an intense piece of writing! I was torn to shreds, feeling the anguish of the narrator, as well as the possible damage done to the young lives she may trample. In many ways, this poem expresses the reason I never had kids. I would've been this kind of mom, good in many ways, but too deeply flawed to feel okay about having kids. Your writing includes a ton of the kinds of details I'm always clamoring for, from the newer writers. You throw out one detail from real life & it's popping in the reader's brain, filling in the picture, so that few words produces a ton of imagery. Then there's another detail & another . . . each one popping into a bigger scenario, recognizable yet fresh. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Year Ago


Got this impression of you holding Skipper tossing fish into the air now.
I would like to think a good kindergarten would keep the kid for the night. I always got left in shops, think mummy was trying to tell me something.
That bottle will fill up again someday, Issy.


Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Haha ... many aloha Paul only you would respond like this. I appreciate it very much. It’s hard to.. read more
this is beautiful
i love the way you write you make the reader think and think and see things.
Julie

Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Appreciate your time. Mahalo
Oh my dear friend, it hurts my heart and soul to read your poem and feel your suffering. But how +could you not suffer and be angry? You have to ease your pain in order to funtion, to live, to do all that you have to do alone with two small tykes. Your poem is so honest, and you are so vulnerable now my Ohana- sister. Your words bleed from you. The bottle tempts- but brings only one moment’s dangerous peace. “But you left me with a life I do not want-with.out.you.”- such a heartbreaking line- final, a weakening blow to the very core of you. You make me feel it, reel from it, too. Mourning, grief, despair, fear, overwhelming loss are what your words convey. I wish I could help you. I am your ohana ,always. I am here for you, always. Xo.


Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Aloha my ohana, it’s ok and honestly you have been so encouraging and kind, that helps so much. It.. read more
Annette Pisano-Higley

1 Year Ago

You got this my ohana! Xo
this is so powerful...the emptiness when a love is now gone...whether by intention or loss of life...
and we turn to that demon to rectify our heart's longing....
and things just get worse...great ending to this...just like this bottle...we feel emptied of emotion, drained.
well done, Izzy,
j.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Aloha jacob, I appreciate your understanding. Is a loss I am still grieving. Many mahalo
Love song and poetry come lately. I have 50 journals of poetry and story. Love poetry were rare young. maybe we appreciate love later.
" wish I could have written pretty love words
but I am empty
like this bottle."
I do understand the above lines. Thank you dear friend for sharing your amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Aloha John, thank you dropping by. Many mahalo my friend.
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

You are welcome my friend.
Dear Izzy

'then you became a microscope
magnifying each flaw'

the support and understanding you needed were not there, so you found a replacement which had consequences even more difficult.

Your lines are hard hitting, and I know others who have been in that place. The whole feel about this piece is one of wretchedness. Who can write love poems when they feel like that?

I have missed your presence here. If this is about you, then I send you healing vibes. All good wishes.

Chris



Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Aloha dear Chris, many mahalo I gratefully receive your healing vibes my friend x
Whatever you write, my dear wee darling, has both the fragility and power of a true poet. Your words empty emotions that perhaps take the place of ones not truly present or are deeply cut into places where they shouldn't be. This isnt 'angst', this is a desperation that comes from sadness.. it's cathartic, courageous and more - far more. Tis allowed, tis permissable.. tis a torrent of rain gradually washing away... whatever. Will you share, please.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Island Hippy

1 Year Ago

Many mahalo Em, has been a challenging month, and I miss Lani so much. Still. It did help writing th.. read more

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10 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 2, 2019
Last Updated on March 2, 2019

Author

Island Hippy
Island Hippy

Maui, Hawai’i



About
Kalani & Skipper’ mom, I visit the cafe and write occasionally in between all the mom stuff. Mahalo. more..

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