A new life begins

A new life begins

A Poem by XIBerSerkErIX
"

A poem me and my girlfriend have written about our long awaited child to be born.

"

Being a new mom is not what it seems, the fear and the angst invades all my dreams.

 

Feeling him move inside of my belly, It gives me the chills and i feel just like jelly.

 

You flip and you roll, you kick and you pull, you make me feel like i am constantly full.

 

My tummy grows bigger as i feel you inside, a joy spreads over me that i just cannot hide.

 

What once was embarrasing has now become pride.

 

As your due date grows near, a new feeling sprouts,

 

It takes away all the fear, and erases my doubts.

 

I cannot wait until the day that we meet, your prescence alone will make life complete.

© 2011 XIBerSerkErIX


Author's Note

XIBerSerkErIX
We would very greatly appreciate anyones thoughts on this.

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Reviews

I like the feeling put behind this, it definetly has good heart.

But your rhymes are a little juvenile, and seem forced.

So, basically, you should try re-writing this in freeverse :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The poem seems to come from a pure place, and all the words flow with a playful pacing. It is so very, very heartwarming.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

it is good and make be feel like im have the baby. im sorry that sound dumb.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 27, 2011
Last Updated on July 27, 2011

Author

XIBerSerkErIX
XIBerSerkErIX

Valhalla, ME



About
I'm a 17 year old from maine. I just recently decided to try my hand at some short story writings. Hoping to get some useful feedback to improve on. Thank you all very much. ** UPDATE** I am now 2.. more..

Writing