A Thorn Less Rose

You call me a dreamer like that's a bad thing...Screw roses, let me be a daisy...or a weed...they're harder to kill.

 

You call me a dreamer

And I suppose

That I should take offense

But, my love,

I’d rather be a dreamer

And seen a daisy, masquerading

Amongst the dandelions

Than remain here, steadfast

A thorn less rose, imprisoned

Behind your picket fence

So let me go, love, and I will be

Carried away like a whisper

On a slow and gentle breeze

To find my freedom in the fields

And if again you should ever seek

The company of this dreamer

Just look for me amongst the weeds

 

 

Reviews

[KL]

WOW. This is too beautiful! Your metaphor of flowers (a growing weed, or a thornless rose...?) is brilliant, your progression of this piece moves along with perfect flow and ends on the perfect note, leaving this reader with no more questions and no desire for more.

Favourite lines are:

"Carried away like a whisper
On a slow and gentle breeze
To find my freedom in the fields"

It's the dreamers that win in the end... who wants to settle for a garden full of thornless roses, anyways?

Wonderfully written. Thank you.

[DreamSharer]

This is a very beautifully written and crafted piece. I love how you have put imagery of flowers and nature into a poetic love written piece. My favorite lines were :

So let me go, love,
and I will beCarried away like a whisper
On a slow and gentle breeze
To find my freedom in the fields

Very well done, I absolutely loved it!

[Christopher.Holmberg]

Hello fellow dreamer, i indeed enjoyed this delicate piece with piercing thorns. Your message is clear and you expres much throughout this poem. EXCElennt

[John McGrael]

i really really like your use of words in this poem
your imagery
its super good
(im not surprised by this fact though =])

i wouldnt change a thing about this, i think its perfect how it is!

[An owl on the moon]

This is such a deeply beautiful, profound write that inspired me. The wondrous sense of the dreamer is often looked down upon, yet every great thing, great work, person of greatness starts with a dream. Wonderful lifting on many levels!

[Expression]

Beautiful!

[Asderathos]

I always liked daisies and dandelions better than roses =)

I'd think just taking out "as if" and adding a question mark on that line, and eliminating the "be" from "be seen" and taking out the "white" from before picket would fix the flow (who's to say what color the fence is and even if it must be white people usually assume so of picket fences anyway)

That's my two cents worth; I like it tho, great analogy... or allegory, I forget which would apply O_o.

[Emily B]

I like weeds. My favorite is chicory, it has such a pretty blue color. . . And I like this little piece of work. There is a place for dreamers. Nature has seen fit to sow us far and wide where we can create smiles for those who pass by

[Q'ANIL]

...this is a truly amazing piece...and it's flow is perfectly fine...dream and be a dreamer...just too good for words...i'd only kill it if i review it too much...brilliant...

~CJM

[Lizanne]

This is a beautiful work. Life stumbles in the beginning, so if this stumbles it is following the true form about which you are writing, life. But to me it flows effortlessly. Your analogy is quiet insightful. To live trapped as a beautiful rose with the thorns, but the scars to show where they once held fast still remain. Being held captive in a relationship that foster's beauty and the material things of life, but lacking in the closeness, warmth or fulfilllment. Along the way the other loses sight of your wants and sees the desires of your life as a silly whim or dream. It comes to, let me live in a shack where the sun shines and there is genuine laughter, rather than in a mansion of coldness and no inspiration to go on. My interp only. This is a lovely writing that speaks volumes of what many women feel.