Hunt Lamp

Hunt Lamp

 

I have fallen so many times

And bloodied my knees.

I went to bed with the sunset

And wished for Kristine

to roll over from her side

and give me a goodnight kiss.

But that is a foolish thought;

she warms another man’s bed.

 

I waked for the howling wolves;

they had stolen my dreams again—

Often I have dreamt of a rabbit neck

breaking in my jaw. And the run

—yelping joy for the jump of a log.

Now I’m part of the pack

and hardwired to my bloodline.

And like any Spartan will say:

there is no trying only obeying.

The big silver is at the front

and on the scent. We are on the move

hunting deer. The moon is our scythe;

it’s in our blood to harvest life

and renew it in our veins.

Luna, our hunting lamp,

closes the ancient circuit:

bay, bay, bay—

In my early memories

our lamp is waxing full;

it tells a story: I have fallen,

been ensnared, yet again

into some trapper’s iron crucifixion;

I howl as there is nothing

left to me but my sores.

This God must want us to be frail

And I’m humble to his desires,

as I wonder why he makes me fail.

 

But tonight the hunting-light through the pines

flashes on my pupil: howl, howl, howl—

My wounds and I will howl with the wolves.

 

 

Reviews

[Cah]

I want to take a closer look at this later (I've got to go and some actual work but I like the changes. I'll get back to you.

One other niggly thing, I missed this before, unless you changed it. "hardwired"- I know it's a man dreaming of being a wolf, so it's fine but I wonder if you want language that's so techie for this? I really like this line but I have to ask out of interest bringing the piece into agreement with itself. I'm just asking. (Though I know what I would replace it with if you want to hear. Don't want to butt in, though. If I am sorry.)

[jaime]

I'll tell you what I like about this poem. There is just enough of a taste of reality in this that makes me want to look deeper into the dream. The first time I read it I really related to the first stanza and then ready or not I was on the hunt with howling wolves behaving instinctively because of the "hardwired" bloodlines. I immediately thought of imprinting: genomic and animal.

I think there's a whole lot of meat in this piece...I've got to read this again. I love it when I read things that make me WANT to think!
good job.

[Cah]

Like I said, more later, but good revision.