To Be a Man (If only I could)

The Stone of Scone seems not insurmountable when initiation beckons.

Yet my endeavour to mount it terminated abruptly,

my lack of traction punctuated by the pride that preceded

the plummet, to the accompaniment of a soft cadence

of sardonic querying of my manhood.

 

Howls of desultory derision announced my arrival.

It used to be easy, being a man; no mantic ability required,

yet the unwritten, unspoken and unbending rules,

replaced recently by emotional intelligence,

                continue to pervert collective masculine history.

 

Man was born, worked, fought and died; it wasn’t hard.

Hitherto the labyrinth of feelings and emotion lay claim to my goal;

                my heart’s lips pine for that time long ago

                before the labret of Pan’s lance pierced the remnant

                of the dying breed of that bygone age.

 

How I beseech the universe, let me be a man again - if only I could!

Unspoken, unseen, unknown, yet so familiar, the past

                mocks me as I pass, with the admonition:

                to thine own self betray, not so much as this:

                no tears, no fears, not even a life at all.

 

Reviews

[Liza]

Brilliant use of the english language; it is a learning experience to read you. I often wondered who has it easier..men or women? I concluded neither. Though women or the feminine quality is to show all contrasts of emotion; society believes it is because we have a menstrual cycle that rules our seemingly chaotic behavior. I can cry and laugh simutaneously and the behavior is more acceptable. meanwhile men are trained to be soldiers; keep a poker face, to fight and protect the weaknesses of women and children. All the aggression and tension created from not having a healthy outlet of creative emotional expression is spilled onto war, sexual release and physical sports and competition or the seeds sowed into women reproducing in the act of love or realease of aggression.

[Leslie Philibert]

Before I start with a poem, my exegesis starts with the form. Here ; brillant.Love the unrhymed couplet followed by the triplet.Then the physical picture of ( I presume) Scotland. Then the working through all the cliches of manhood,and how to reject them.Here you show in a great poem that manhood another character has ;the creative artist and poet.

[Tate Morgan]

A very tight use of the derivatives of the human English.The structure is sound.It is a abstract of sorts. Kind of a look at your daydreaming mind. I am not good at writing abstracts . I am however versed enough to understand this one I think.We romanticize the past in literature.Truth is we do this about ourselves all the time as well.To enhance the life we live and the legacy we leave behind.And then to future generations we seem to have had a much better time than they .It isnt true of course.But we like to leave that impression.Truth is there are a few moments in a mans life when he gets the chance to see what he is made of.It is those moments both acted on and dismissed that we lament regret or idolize

[Naomi Jacobson]

Very thought provoking. I am still deciphering it. :)

[Teri B]

"to thine own self betray" - a Freudian slip of monumental proportions? Or a deliberate statement of a cruel reality? How painful must it be to feel that one has betrayed one's essential self, to feel such a sense of loss!

[joshua deathdealer]

The words embodied in this write were such a pleasure to read and I think most men can understand where you are coming from..I know I can. Excellent work.xx

[Helena]

Really beautiful write Jeremy. This is going into my favorites, you get top marks and to top that, you are our Featured Writer for the Week on Albert's Poetry Cafe's Forum. Bravo!

Helena

[deeps]

This is really good and ever so powerful.
So very nicely expressed. Liked this piece a bunch

[Ruth]

Hon, the use of language in this supasses greatness! An amazing poem! I have read and sat back with awe lol You hold such detail in your work...and keep it at a constant level...hard to do but you do it with great passion! Amazing piece! xx

[Kat Collins]

Your words are eloquent. I love the strength, yet the questioning, of being a "man." Was it really so easy once upon a time? I believe it is always a challenge, man or woman, in defining who we are.

I learn so much at your feet. You are a master of the written word...

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. In my lifetime. I sat and wondered why I lived. Like your many strong statements in this poem. Sometime I wonder does what we do matters to anyone?
"Man was born, worked, fought and died; it wasn’t hard."
Took me 38 years to figure out why I lived. Wasn't for my dreams. Was for the sake of my children. Give direction and I hope they do better then I did. Thank you for a outstanding poem. Poetry goal is to make you think. This poem made me think.
Coyote