Autumn Poem 1 (Sight)- and Introduction

Autumn Poem 1 (Sight)- and Introduction

A Poem by JohnL
"

Here are seven poems. One for each of the senses plus one for the sense we know as the Sixth. The sad poem at the end is to remind us that we are all mortal. They take various poetic forms and are mostly 'Happy'.

"

Seeing Autumn

 

 

Furnace flames change colour 

Playing over precious metals. 

Summer’s once green leaves, now gold, 

Pour the molten metal of Autumn, 

To cast the ring that will bind Summer to Winter 

In seasonal matrimony.

 

Gold grows red into honeymoon passion,

Spraying the world with a welter of flying illumination,

Carpeting the floor with radiance;

Gold and red turn sere, turn brown;

As unclothed branches

Return leaves and life

To the earth that made them.

Winter’s harshness makes stark

The branches that lately waved in colourful abandon.

Autumn’s fall feeds ancient roots; and now,

The fruit of that passion is revealed,

As pregnant branches, swelling in bud,

Bring forth the children of Spring.

 

                                                John Berry

© 2008 JohnL


Author's Note

JohnL
I know it is a lot of poetry but if you can look at this series as an entity, I would be very grateful.

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Reviews

(I hope you don't mind me saying):
As unclothed branches
Return leaves and life...

I love this. It's kinda sexy. Beautiful piece.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I absolutely love the comparison of a refiner's fire and the autumn leaves. Fire, of course, has been used time and time again as an image of autumn, but your chosen image goes above and beyond simple flame. You get to the heart of the flame and thus to the heart of autumn itself. And it's amazing how you hint that autumn is the fire that forges the ring that "binds winter and summer together."

My only comment (actually I suppose it is several comments - I'm nitpicking and I'm sorry for that) is that the imagery seems a bit cluttered at points - it's a fast-paced poem for something that seems like it should linger. You transition quickly from the forge to the matrimony to the falling of the leaves. Perhaps you could add something about the way the leaves look as they tumble to the ground? The way it is now first they are changing colors and then suddenly they are all fallen. The process is more gradual than that, as you know, so it might be better to have your poem reflect the eventuality of the naked trees rather than speeding straight from clothed to unclothed. I really like the dress metaphor, too - if you decide to expand your poem you could perhaps do more with that, maybe something about how the winter undresses his bride slowly, with a careful and precise hand. (Although I suppose in your earlier metaphor Summer is Winter's bride, not Fall - it's strange how Fall goes from an object (the forge) to a person wearing a dress - that seems to mix the metaphors a little in a slightly confusing way. Could you perhaps clarify it?

Despite my nitpicking it's a fabulous poem filled with stunning imagery and imaginitive metaphor. What a great way to start your septet!

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a glorious beginning, simply beautiful and wonderfully descriptive. I enjoyed this a great deal.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A beautifully written passage excellent wordusage denoting a good vocabulary Couched in first class poetic prose

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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4 Reviews
Added on May 26, 2008
Last Updated on August 27, 2008

Author

JohnL
JohnL

Wirral Peninsula, United Kingdom



About
I live in England, and love the English countryside, the music of Elgar and Holst which describes it so beautifully and the poetry of John Clare, the 'peasant poet' and Gerard Manley Hopkins, which d.. more..

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