Spring

After a long February drive through Hoar frosted ways and icy roads, I dwelt on this then decided to make it really difficult by choosing a metre of 11. I think it has made it sound a bit like Betjeman.

 

An experiment in the use of a somewhat unusual and dare I say, somewhat difficult metre (11.12 x10 AA BB CC etc) Critical comment appreciated. At least the poem carries images of hope and goodly cheer, telling us that Spring is here. Oops, there I go again!!!

 

 

SPRING

 

Hoar frost: tree hanging, branch bending shroud of white              

Wrenching morning chill from the cold, dark grip of night,                            

Clenching the hands as blood flows thinly round veins                          

Of shivering risers scurrying for early trains                                        

In hats and gloves and overcoats, vacuum packed,                                 

Collars turned high against the cold, and mufflers stacked                                 

In multicoloured rings round snuggled shoulders                     

To greet the newly opening, bright-tipped holders                                  

Daring to penetrate Winter’s iron will - -,                                                

Buds of primrose, snowdrop and thrusting daffodil.         

 

JohnL       30 April 2008                 

Author's Note

Go for it!

Reviews

[Lily1111]

Well I would say that your experiment is a great success. This was a very enjoyable read.
I adored the line: "Wrenching morning chill from the cold, dark grip of night"
Which creates such a wonderful sensory image and besides, I just like the way it sounds when you read it out loud.

[lauren emily]

I could totally picture everything you wrote in my head--which is a good thing! This whole piece is very descriptive and--I don't really know why--but to me it seems almost..mysterious.
Great work,
~Lauren

[Gandré]

sweet awakening!
I liked this winter will to end with the glorious spring.
"Daring to penetrate Winter's iron will - -,
Buds of primrose, snowdrop and thrusting daffodil. "

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

A classic style poem, written with such class. A piece I could see in a book of poems by famous poets. Very descrptive. I am usually not as interested in poems with nature or spring, but this one pulled me in. Good job.

Kena