Travellers' Tales No 1. The Electrician's Tale

A sort of 'Canterbury Tales' brought up to date with apologies to Mr Chaucer.

 

Traveller’s Tales

A Foreword

 

Once upon a time, Great Britain had a railway and transport system worthy of a First World country. Trains ran, if not on time, not far off it and they actually co-ordinated with buses that ran on time because the word ‘service’ meant something. Enter the word COMPETITION, sub words efficiency, profit, self-financing and market forces. We were in the age of the 'yuppy' and now we have a multiplicity of companies, seemingly at odds with one another running un-coordinated road and rail systems, which crash frequently and arrive irregularly.

Thus it is that we find an unhappy group of travellers spending a night in the dirty waiting room of a London station awaiting a train that will not come for, up to now, eighteen hours, with no alternative means of reaching their destination. 

Strangers to each other, they are however, a resourceful group and decide to pass the time by telling stories, as did another group long, long ago.                          

 

The Electrician's Tale

The electrician was indeed a man who knew

About such things as lamps and tape and wire.

An expert in judicious handling of

Such implements as cutter, fuse and plier.

One day a maid of greatest beauty said

‘I need someone to fix for me a light,’

He, seeing her, decided he would tread

Most carefully: 'twas love at earliest sight.

 

The light in question was beside her bed;

 He bed and maid, was wont to juxtapose.

Within him (and 'twas not inside his head)

Great passion in its lustiest form arose.

So when new light within her boudoir shone,

With pride he called her that she should impose

Her gaze his workmanship with joy upon.

That he could fairly pluck this fulsome rose.

 

Her cheeks seemed flushed (the shade was palest pink)

And proud, he showed her how to switch it on,

While she, in thanks not passion - so I think,

Upon his cheek a kiss did plant - just one.

Hurrah! Cried he, for like the light, I'm on!

He'd got it wrong of course; she slapped his face,

While he stepped back in non-electric shock.

‘See here - 'tis but the first leg of the race,

You'll do far more ere berthing in my dock’

 

So each week there would be another socket;

The young man wired a ring main for his love.

She had him well and truly in her pocket.

He wired another on the floor above.

As neighbours will, they gossiped night and day

'How do you get this wiring work done free,

‘Oh, I have paid in full,’ the maid did say

‘These cables cost me my virginity.’                                                                                                                                            JLB

Reviews

[Gideon Jacob]

I liked this one as well as the Pizza Boy's Tale. You did well to write a Canterbury Tale in poetry and in modern language as I think it's something way beyond my own talents. No easy task and you managed to pull it off well for the most part. That said, I think it wasn't quite as funny as the Pizza Boy's Tale as I think the suddeness of the twist in that one made it funnier, and to me the magic of the Canterbury Tales was in its mocking sort of humour. But nevertheless this was still a good tale! I hope you can think up of and write more of them as you've certainly made me into a fan.

[R J Askew]

Love it. Very much in the fruity spirit of Chaucer. Mildly ribald, but not bluntly so, with the tongue in cheek suggestiveness trumping the downright earthy.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Very unique I would have to say. Clever, and fun to read. Thanks for sharing...I dont' like the fact she had lost her virginity to the electrician, but I liked the middle part, and the metaphors you used.

And proud, he showed her how to switch it on, While she, in thanks not passion

good part.

thanks John L, for stretching my mind.

kena

[Leah Simone]

Interesting bit of history - this storytelling tradition.

The story itself is very clever and great fun to read - a bit of naughty tempting without being trashy- it was truly fun and love the twists and turns of it. Wonderful talent - you have. Superb, and most enjoyable read.

[Emily Elizabeth]

Hahaha!
I loved that Electrician's Tale. Very enjoyable and entertaining, and you write in such a professional and polished way, that the readers engage with the poem to the full. You have a brilliant style. I'm surprised you haven't been published yet! Thanks for sharing!