Bright of Sight, Bright of Mind

Bright of Sight, Bright of Mind

A Poem by JohnL
"

For Emma's picture competition - re: the Avatar - if my star has cheated, disqualify her!!

"

 

 
 
 
A star shines brightly in the heavens;
Just one stands solitary as
others dance melancholy
attendance upon her.
 
Her beauty outshines
The firmament;
She is bright,
so knows
it!
 
John L. Berry    12 November 2008

© 2009 JohnL


Author's Note

JohnL
One or two people have suggested minor alterations to this . One I have used (and/so) but others requiring additions were not as this is a nonet - syllable by line reduction 9 to 1

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Yours is a fitting poem for the picture where one star outshines all the others. I liked the shape of your poem (due to the form) and especially the lines, "Just one stands solitary as others dance melancholy attendance upon her." If I'd change anything at all, it would be using "and" instead of "so" in the next to last line. Sharon

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Well written. A lovely poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

very beautiful!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Starpower. I like the feminine reference/comparison in this, nice.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I 'm in aaaw over this wonderful poem....these few words totally captivated me. So well done. Found it a pleasure to read. Thanks! PW

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Oh this is lovely.. not cos of the words as such but the thoughts and format.. thank you very much, John.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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1941 Views
25 Reviews
Added on November 12, 2008
Last Updated on August 25, 2009
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Author

JohnL
JohnL

Wirral Peninsula, United Kingdom



About
I live in England, and love the English countryside, the music of Elgar and Holst which describes it so beautifully and the poetry of John Clare, the 'peasant poet' and Gerard Manley Hopkins, which d.. more..

Writing