Message in a Bottle

Message in a Bottle

A Poem by JohnL

 

Message in a Bottle
 
It lay on the beach an ocean away
Shingle frosted,
weed accosted,
now denied the ocean’s
spray and sway in play
of mighty  currents far away.
Its stay is brief
on strand and reef -
mail must get through,
‘tis true, ‘tis true.
By river-road and
stink-swamp-romp,
past smell-ful mud,
encrusted crud;
until in estuaric glee,
our bottle finds the open sea.
Via tropic islands,
coral reefs inhabited by fearsome chiefs;
no use to them in plumes and briefs,
waving spears and bright red teeth
because, although a fearful sight,
They never learned to read or write.
And so as Scotland hove in sight,
our bottle, polished clean and bright,
we pull the cork, release the paper,
thinly folded like a taper,
press it flat release its script
as papyrus from ancient crypt
to find upon its obverse side,
written with obvious care and pride
from distant ocean’s farther side,
a sailor, looking for a bride.
From every port across the world,
bride-requests in bottles hurled
resulting in terrific sport
for blushing brides in every port.
When Jolly Jack arrives ashore
he’ll flatter, worship and adore
whichever lovely, waiting bride
his local bottle did provide,
until, tired out, he thought it best
to put to sea and have a rest.
The moral, just in case you ask
Is “Never trust a beach-found flask”.
 
Better wed the boy next door
though he be honest, dull or poor:
- - that lad you'll have for evermore.
           John L Berry, August, 2009

 

 

 

© 2009 JohnL


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Featured Review

John,

I love the inspiration for this. I can almost see the bottle, no longer clear from battles with grains of sand and motion. I almost hated to read the proverb like ending. I rather liked the romantic aspect of the note inside the bottle, as though the bottle were the subject of focus. But that's just me. I am a realist and too realize the foolishness of the prospect of a note inside a floating bottle, but I like the romantic side of the bottle getting there and the battles it faced with the sea.

It lay on the beach an ocean away
Shingle frosted,
weed accosted,
now denied the ocean's
spray and sway in play
of mighty currents far away.
Its stay is brief
on strand and reef -
mail must get through,
'tis true, 'tis true.
By river-road and
stink-swamp-romp,
past smell-ful mud,
encrusted crud;
until in estuaric glee,
our bottle finds the open sea.

This part seems much stronger with double rhymes in verse than the ending�nonetheless I absolutely love the imagery and rhyme patterns. This one is free and flows nice without a very strict pattern, but it's strength is in the opening stanza's through the first half, because there I get the visual and can almost smell the salty air and feel the slimy seaweed wrapped around the bottle. Thank you as always for sharing your talent with us, and I hope you are well�as always.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A seas shanty on paper, with the cried of gulls and Scotland as the goal. I adored this piece, especially these phrases: 'weed accosted' and 'estuaric glee'.

Posted 11 Years Ago


John,

I love the inspiration for this. I can almost see the bottle, no longer clear from battles with grains of sand and motion. I almost hated to read the proverb like ending. I rather liked the romantic aspect of the note inside the bottle, as though the bottle were the subject of focus. But that's just me. I am a realist and too realize the foolishness of the prospect of a note inside a floating bottle, but I like the romantic side of the bottle getting there and the battles it faced with the sea.

It lay on the beach an ocean away
Shingle frosted,
weed accosted,
now denied the ocean's
spray and sway in play
of mighty currents far away.
Its stay is brief
on strand and reef -
mail must get through,
'tis true, 'tis true.
By river-road and
stink-swamp-romp,
past smell-ful mud,
encrusted crud;
until in estuaric glee,
our bottle finds the open sea.

This part seems much stronger with double rhymes in verse than the ending�nonetheless I absolutely love the imagery and rhyme patterns. This one is free and flows nice without a very strict pattern, but it's strength is in the opening stanza's through the first half, because there I get the visual and can almost smell the salty air and feel the slimy seaweed wrapped around the bottle. Thank you as always for sharing your talent with us, and I hope you are well�as always.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh my dear friend, my best friend John, your writting is like the candy I find after a long working day , yo enjoy the flow of that beautiful poem, and make me smile, a big smile cover my face, when I reachthe end of your poem :-) ... Shalom, Yossi

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

breathtaking, sweet and somehow made me day dream all of a sudden, a true picturesque poem, I loved it, a favorite indeed.

-Flo

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 8, 2009
Last Updated on October 8, 2009
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Author

JohnL
JohnL

Wirral Peninsula, United Kingdom



About
I live in England, and love the English countryside, the music of Elgar and Holst which describes it so beautifully and the poetry of John Clare, the 'peasant poet' and Gerard Manley Hopkins, which d.. more..

Writing