What Can I do?

What Can I do?

A Poem by SuicidePact.

What were you thinking?

When you ran away....

Was it something you did?

Were you having a bad day?

How can I help you?

Tell me what to say....

I don’t want to lose you

I want you to stay.

© 2012 SuicidePact.


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Reviews

That was really nice, the words just flow so smoothly; the rythme in the poem is so melodious.
And the sturcture was eye catcher too :)


Posted 12 Years Ago


Really dramatic, when reading there's a floating pause that cascades the words inot mental images, not just words. And people who take drastic measures such as running away are usually too strung out to think about what other's loss will be, or they feel they have no importance. Excellent :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


A very hectic write, spreading it across the page. As if your thoughts were scrambling to make sense. And still you rhymed! Well done on that.

Blessings, Tammy

Posted 12 Years Ago


Ilike the way this is set up; it catches attention and gives the poem volume.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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792 Views
64 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 7, 2012
Last Updated on April 7, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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