Agent 64 - Dead RingerA Screenplay by Jacob Scoggins Script for an upcoming short film I'm directing. Thought I'd see if anyone has thoughts. Sorry for the format. It was originally a pdf lol. Agent 64 - Dead Ringer Written By Jacob Scoggins Address Phone Number 1 DARKNESS INT. GARAGE - AFTERNOON AGENT 64 is tied to a chair in a garage. You know it's a garage because I wrote that in the scene heading. He's not really traditionally tied up. He's got a bunch of duct tape around him. In front of him is one of those fold out tables with the weird faux leather on top. On the other side of that table is a creepy TERRORIST guy. The dude is decked out. He's got the UZI, the ski mask, the whole shtick. He places his hand son the table and gives the evil eye to our, ahem, hero. TERRORIST You nearly cost me and my employer a considerable investment today. AGENT 64 Heh. You're welcome. Ski mask man leans back a bit. TERRORIST You could have ruined everything. And yet, after searching you, all I found was: Your gun, some sunglasses, that stupid outfit and earpiece, and... He pulls something out of his pocket and slams it on the table. It's a ring. Like a legit little metal MOOD RING. TERRORIST (CONT'D) This. AGENT 64 Fancy. TERRORIST So. What is it? A camera? Audio recorder? AGENT 64 No. TERRORIST A scanner? Maybe a tracking device? Maybe some armed guns are headed here now? 2 AGENT 64 No! It's not any of those it's justTERRORIST Just what? A bomb? An explosive? Beat. AGENT 64 (expression change from annoyed to fake confidence) Yes. INT. BATHROOM - MORNING We see a nice bathroom. Standard fare. But our main focus is this one drawer on the counter. A hand comes from off screen and pulls the thing open. Inside is a huge GUN. Intense music rises as unknown suspect reaches for the firearm. He grabs it confidently!Oh the suspense. Then he pushes it out of the way and grabs the toothbrush behind it. TITLE - BLACK SCREEN "Agent 64: Dead Ringer" INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Agent 64 sits down at his kitchen table. He's got what you might expect. Cereal! Okay maybe you didn't expect that. He pours himself a bowl (with milk obviously), and digs in. Oh wait. What's this? He grabs the box. TOY INSIDE. 64 rams his arm inside the box. Out comes the prize. A mood ring. He puts the prize on his middle finger, still chewing his last scoop of freaking Charmy Lucks or whatever he eats. AGENT 64 (admiring himself) Sweet. Beat. Static in the background. FIVES (V.O.) (over Agent 64's earpiece) What's that? 64's eyes widen as his hand drops. He grabs the earpiece. 3 AGENT 64 Uh... Fives? FIVES Yes, 64? AGENT 64 Morning. FIVES Did you say something a moment ago? AGENT 64 Um. No. I didn't realize you were up. FIVES Well I am. Wait. Are you eating cereal? AGENT 64 Well. Yeah. FIVES Oh dear lord are you eating the one with the toy? AGENT 64 I don't see how that's important. FIVES It's important because you're in your twenties man! You're one step from John Wick on steroids, and you're collecting action figures from breakfast cereal! AGENT 64 No! It was a ring! FIVES I swear to whoever the heck is listening that if you're actually wearing a mood ring Agent 64, I might kill myself. AGENT 64 Good grief Fives it's not a big deal! FIVES I'm fairly certain that if the Wicker Corporation knew they'd (MORE) 4 hired a government sanctioned FIVES (CONT'D) hitman that acts like he's five they'd probably think it was a big deal too. 64 looks at his ring with frustration. AGENT 64 I think red means I'm angry. FIVES You're so immature. AGENT 64 Don't be so stuck up. I'm sure someday you find happiness like I have. FIVES Right. Well for now we need to make sure the rest of the world stays happy. Beat. FIVES (CONT'D) We have an assignment. INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Agent 64 is getting ready for his mission. Suiting up and laying out weapons while Fives lays out the rub. FIVES Over the course of a month this guy purchased parts that are all consistent with building a high end explosive device. AGENT 64 So a bomb? FIVES Yes. A bomb which, if you pieced the thing together in it's least effective combination, would level a small building. AGENT 64 And if it's done more effectively? FIVES It'd have a blast radius of a (MORE) 5 almost half a mile. FIVES (CONT'D) AGENT 64 Great. FIVES You know the drill. Get in. Get him. Get out. 64 pulls out his Terminator shades. AGENT 64 Sweet. Let's rock and roll. INT. TRUCK - LATER A truck pulls up to a home in an extremely average neighborhood. Of course, the drive is 64, so this house is obviously abnormal. AGENT 64 (looking at ring) So you think yellow is like, nervous? Probably an anxiety thing. FIVES Oh my gosh just get in there! AGENT 64 Hey it was just a question! FIVES About a mood ring! That you found in cereal! And you're about to shoot a terrorist! AGENT 64 Fine. You sure this is the right house? FIVES Why don't you ask your flipping ring and see if it knows? AGENT 64 Okay. 64 put's the ring to his ear comically. Well he intends it comically. But he just kinda looks stupid. And Fives can't really see him. He actually is kinda dumb sometimes to be honest. 6 AGENT 64 It says this is the right house. (beat) And that you're a jerk. Slight dramatic pause. FIVES Get out of the car. INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Oh boy another bathroom. The dude inside flushes the toilet. He starts washing his hands, as one does. Hygiene kids, don't forget it. Looking at his handsome (he thinks), self in the mirror he checks his smile. Slicks back that gorgeous mane. Oh yeah. A little snap point at that sexy devil. Handsome man opens his bathroom door with confidence. Until he's violently thrown into the hallway. Slamming into a wall he gazes into the eyes of Agent 64. AGENT 64 Where is it?! HANDSOME What?! 64 goes in for a kick to the face. Our guy rolls and the kick misses. Handsome scrambles to his feet. Phew. FIVES C'mon! Hit him! 64 throws a punch. Bang. Square in the jaw. Handsome stumbles. Gripping the floor he reasserts himself and charges. The two slam into the ground. 64 grabs Handsome's shirt and flips him over him. Turning around 64 gets up along across from his opponent. HANDSOME What do you want!? AGENT 64 The bomb. He swings. 7 The hit flings the homeowner more towards the living room. After hitting the wall of course. Twice. He keeps backing up. Across from each other now, they begin an elaborate little scuffle in the mid living room. Blocking, hitting, blocking, yelling in pain. The usual. Handsome ducks from a swing and grabs a rolled up magazine from the rooms nice coffee table. Smack. Right across 64's average beauty face. Agent 64 comes right back up. Catching the second swing like it's nothing with his left, he twists the magazine from Handsome's wrist and goes for a gut punch with his right. Ow. Handsome doubles over. 64 bops him square on the back of the head. Down to the floor. Writhing in ouch. AGENT 64 Where's the bomb. HANDSOME I don't know what you're talking about! AGENT 64 Yeah nobody ever does. Look. I can shoot you and look for the thing myself or I can let you live and you can cooperate. HANDSOME But I'm just a normal guy! AGENT 64 Uh huh. Look buddy. (he lifts up his hand. The one with the ring) See this? It's blue. That means I'm calm. I think. Now if you don't tell me what I want to know it'll probably turn red. And that'd be unfortunate. For you. For me it'd mean I get to use my gun so that's cool. 8 HANDSOME What are you talking about! I'm a graphic designer not a terrorist! The cops will go to town on you! You'll see! Franticly, Handsome reaches for a pencil on the table. Which wouldn't really be effective in the hands of a graphic designer in a fight where the other guy is like four feet away and standing. But then again he's a designer. Maybe he can draw a solution. Sighing, 64 quickly puts a bullet in the reaching arm. Handsome screens in pain. He looks at the blood on his hands. And faints. A beat. FIVES I can't believe you had the nerve to mention that ring. AGENT 64 I thought it sounded threatening. FIVES A flipping kitten is more threatening! You're the most immature human being I've ever met and they've given you a gun! AGENT 64 Hey! I'm gonna find the bomb! It's all good. FIVES I don't give two cares about the bomb! I'm worried about your mental state! Or lack thereof. it's a miracle that we're still on Agent 64 after the messes you get into! AGENT 64 Okay so I like acting like a kid every now and again. Who doesn't! What's life if you sit and complain and act like a know it all every second! FIVES Normal! Life is normal you oaf! 9 AGENT 64 Wow. Who's the mature one now. 64 notice a notebook on the coffee table. Next to the table. Curious, he steps over and grabs the thing. It's nice. FIVES The one not wearing the flipping ceral box mood ring! That's who! My whole job is to keep you alive and you wanna talk about your job like you're living in a Saturday morning cartoon! 64 flips through the journal. It's full of designs. Logos. Costumes. Robots. Everything. Tons of designs. AGENT 64 Uh oh. FIVES Uh oh is right! And another thing! You keep wearing those stupid sunglasses! You can't even see! Someday you're going to shoot the wrong person by accident or something and get me flipping fired! AGENT 64 Yeah I might already have. FIVES You what? AGENT 64 The guy has a notebook here chock full of designs. FIVES For the bomb? AGENT 64 No. But just about everything else. FIVES Wait. What address are you at? AGENT 64 215 Lark. FIVES Oh gosh. (beat)I screwed up. 10 AGENT 64 What?! FIVES You just beat up a citizen. 64 looks at the passed out Handsome devil. Uh oh. AGENT 64 Oh boy. FIVES I must have read it wrong it's... Oh. AGENT 64 Oh? Oh what? FIVES It's um. The address is 212. 212 Lark. I read it upside down. AGENT 64 Are you kidding me!? FIVES Well if you hadn't distracted me with that stupid ring this wouldn't have happened! AGENT 64 I can't believe this. (beat) Where's the real address? (mouthing to the passed out guy) *sorry* FIVES Um. It's right across the street. 64 turns around. The butt of a pistol slams into his temple and he drops to the ground. DARKNESS. FIVES Hello? 64? Hey where did you go? Are you alright? Agent 64! Is this because of the ring thing? (beat) Is it red now? (beat) It's red now isn't it. 11 INT. GARAGE - LATER Well here we are. Back to the beginning. The thrilling climax. Dun dun duuuuun. Ahem. Anyway. TERRORIST Wait what? AGENT 64 You heard me. It's a bomb. TERRORIST Well thank for the warning idiot. The terrorist take the ring and drops it ring onto the ground. Raising a foot, the implication is obvious. AGENT 64 Wait... (thinking) Wait stop! TERRORIST (annoyed) What? AGENT 64 You'll... just set it off faster. Boom. Both of us gone in less than a second. TERRORIST Okay. (picking up the ring) How long is the timer? AGENT 64 Um. Three minutes? TERRORIST You sound unsure. AGENT 64 No for real. It's three minutes. Well. Less now. TERRORIST Okay. Then why don't I just walk away and let you blow up? AGENT 64 Because it's voice...coded. I say the word andTERRORIST Yeah yeah. Boom. (beat) I assume you can disarm it. 12 AGENT 64 Yep. TERRORIST And I assume you want me to untie you. AGENT 64 Yeah why not? Sounds great. TERRORIST Yeah I figured. AGENT 64 So what're we waiting for? Let's save our skins and stuff! TERRORIST Yeah I don't think so. AGENT 64 What? TERRORIST I need to take a three minute nap first I think. Terror man starts Christopher Walken away. AGENT 64 What?! You're going to let us die?! Are you crazy? He grabs 64's gun from the pile of his stuff. TERRORIST The only crazy one here (beat), is you. He aims the gun at Agent 64 and holds up the ring. TERRORIST I think we both know this isn't a bomb bro. AGENT 64 Heh. TERRORIST It is nice though. (slipping it on)I'll keep it I think. (he looks at it) Before I kill you I gotta ask. (aiming the gun while making (MORE) 13 the ring finger prominent) What do TERRORIST (CONT'D) you think purple means? THE DOOR TO THE GARAGE FREAKING FLIES OPEN. And UNKNOWN DUDE stands in the doorway and aims a bright pistol RIGHT AT THE TERRORIST! Just about everyone is in shock. FIVES Who gives a crap. TERRORIST (confused) What? 64 hooks his feet under the table. FIVES fires his gun at the TERRORIST! Oh wow. He totally misses. Like really badly. TERRORIST What the heck? The table flies through the air and HITS THE TERRORIST HEAD ON. He falls to the the ground. AGENT 64 Go me! Fives examines his pistol. FIVES So that's why they put me behind a desk. AGENT 64 Fives? For real? Fives walks over and uses a pocket knife to cut 64 out of the chair. FIVES I know right! It's weird. AGENT 64 Why'd they even send you? 64 stands, brushing off duct tape. 14 FIVES Honestly? They didn't. Nobody else was available so I came myself. Fives walks over to the terrorist's unconscious form. Man a lot of people get knocked out in this script. AGENT 64 How'd you find me? FIVES (standing up) With this. He holds up the ring. AGENT 64 What? What're you talking about? FIVES Yeah. So I've not been that truthful. It's a tracking device. In case this kind of thing happened. I planted it for you to find. AGENT 64 You did what?! It's that's true then why were you being so arrogant about it?! FIVES I expected you to keep it. Not fall in love with it. AGENT 64 Seems your plan worked a little too well then. FIVES Yes. Yes it did. But I suppose we didn't accomplish nothing. The two look over at the villain defeated. AGENT 64 Yeah I guess so. So are we good? FIVES Yes of course we are. Just... don't do dare buy any more mood rings or I'll kill you. 15 AGENT 64 With aim like that I might just let you try. FIVES Very funny. I'll have you know thaBuzz buzz buzz. FIVES Excuse me. Fives pulls out his cell and answers. FIVES Hello? (beat) Yes. yes we are. (beat) Understood. Send the info to my PC. (beat) Got it. Fives ends the call and turns to 64. FIVES I know we sort of just finished up. But, we're needed again. AGENT 64 What do we got? FIVES He sent the information to my computer, but said that 'the fate of the world hangs in the balance'. AGENT 64 Sounds cool. 64 takes his revolver from the Terrorist's cold grip. He stands across from Fives. FIVES You ready? Agent 64 clicks back the hammer, locking a bullet in the chamber. AGENT 64 I'll give it my best shot. He grins. CUT TO BLACK. THE END
© 2016 Jacob ScogginsAuthor's Note
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2 Reviews Added on May 15, 2016 Last Updated on May 15, 2016 Tags: action, screenplay, comedy, funny, film |
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