Keep Me In Your Dreams

Just another rookie attempt at writing a poem using an iambic pentameter as a form. Written for PoetryLake.com - metered

Never write poetry for those like me,

not tomorrow, or when in deep sorrow.

But your heart will always remember me,

tonight, tomorrow, just not forever.

Never express your loving words for me,

not tomorrow, or when in deep sorrow. 

But let the breeze rest against your cheek,

as you daydream under the summer oak tree.

Never write poetry for those like me,

but think of me when you write the last verse.

Reviews

[Dave]

It seems as though you really don't want a last verse. There is no tomorrow, today just continues on and on and the feelings you have are forever. Always sharing the cool breeze and daydreams under the oak tree.
Of course, I could be wrong.
Take care - Dave

[Abhilash Hegde]

I like the repeated lines as a form here (start/end) - kinda comes off as a full circle. I've used this before in my writes too. Great way to close the poem with an impactful ending lines.
"Never write poetry for those like me,
but think of me when you write the last verse."

I like the turn of the phrase at the end, "last verse".
Tell's a lot lot about the wishes, how the protagonist of this poem wants to be remembered.

Thanks for sharing!

[Robert Trakofler]

well you can ask but they might not listen... resonance can last an awful long time even when you think it is blocked out it has a funny way of returning:/ I write for an audience of one... and each and every one of them is as precious as my last breath:) clever clever penning

[InkAndScrolls]

This was enjoyable yet eerie.

[Chris Shaw]

Daydreaming under a summer oak. That's the place to be. That's the place to get inspiration to write poetry. Warm day, breeze against the cheek. Absolutely ideal. I'm a lover of trees by the way.

Chris

[James Paranormal]

Thank you so much for the thoughtful review, I appreciate your poetic insight and kind words, always :)

[Chris Shaw]

You are very welcome.

[light and ashes]

Interesting write...... love the last two lines, especially the second to last line the most. :) really beautiful line.
Sorry, for altering my review a little....I'm a very indecisive soul... especially lately..
:)

[James Paranormal]

this piece is just an experiment, and should be raked over the coals lol. It needs improvement, big time.

[James Paranormal]

Also, thanks so much for reading :)

[light and ashes]

I like it, but as always that's up to the writer. The concept is definitely different.

[light and ashes]

You are welcome. :)

[Fran Marie]

But let the breeze rest against your cheek,
as you daydream under the summer oak tree.

how utterly smooth this lovely piece flows..
I so love the above lines ..so serene
so beautifully expressed

nice work

[James Paranormal]

Thanks friend, just having some fun, I appreciate ya :)