Beautiful in Hindsight

This one is oooooold. I found a .doc of it on a USB stick today so I decided to throw it up. Probably 2008?

Beautiful in Hindsight
By Jason C. Clement

Hemlock coated arrow pierces through your chest
striking deep and darker than you ever could’ve guessed;
how you long for safety, as you’re gasping just to feel
the bitter, overwhelming shock of paralytic steel.
Your dreams betray you now, a smile upon their lips
they ate the sun alive, with death through every kiss;
And built a monument, your finely engraved tomb
our destinies fulfilled, Pandora’s seeds were sewn.

I talk like Aristotle, all these words inside my head;
You're like Alexander, arrogant upon your bed.
Beautiful in hindsight, false sensitivity’s dead;
Wouldn’t life be easier, if that wasn’t what we’d said?

Now you lie at sea, adrift with broken wings
the wax is melted off, your pride is scorned by kings;
lions feast your sorrow, bleeding your lungs dry,
tamed by aristocrats, whom sell you at first sight.
With a wicked grin, the moon entices love
who beckons angels come, to bring destruction from above;
how you long for the motherly embrace of night
To be encased by the damp and shallow wombs of life.

I talk like Aristotle, all these words inside my head;
You're like Alexander, arrogant upon your bed.
Beautiful in hindsight, false sensitivity’s dead;
Wouldn’t life be easier, if that wasn’t what we’d said?

Author's Note

I don't think the second verse flows as well as the first, or the chorus. What do you guys feel?

Reviews

[Tumnus]

Stumbling across this was marvelous, it certainly tested my knowledge of mythology. About the second verse, I agree with your 'author's note', and the only suggestion I have (not so much a poet) is that perhaps this would work as a song? When reading it I couldn't help feeling like a guitar in the background would complete it, and perhaps with the music crafted around it the second verse would fit just as it is.
Just a thought :) And the lines about Icarus are wonderful, please keep them.

[Lilly]

Another great write. I love the rhyme of the whole piece and think it all flows really well...

[~Lizzy♬]

I love how you did this. This is good and you have great talent! Keep writing!

[Alana]

Ah, I remember this beautiful thing. I never, ever know what to say when faced with your talent. Have I ever told you how insanely jealous I've always been of your diction skills? This just breathes art. Post more, jerk.