Nature Of Betrayal

As the title infers to, it's all about betrayal, why people betray others, and the consequences of the action of betrayal

The nature of man demands a steady corruption
And I was foolish to assume
That you'd be exempt
And as I face my end
Choking on the fumes
Knowing you'll refuse to repent

Take your coins
And point them to my resting place
There will be no salvation for men
Only a longing for revenge

All of my friends have their price
For some it's blood or money
For others it's time
Slit my throat slowly
My blood is fed to the earth
I am the payment for others' crimes

Take your coins
And point them to my resting place
There will be no salvation for men
Only a longing for revenge

Where's my ascension?
My crowning glory
I feel no urge to lead
Or provide redemption
Only a darker path, the true end to the story

Take your coins
And point them to my resting place
There will be no salvation for men
Only a longing for revenge

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Very lyrical...the words that you have chosen resonate with a certain alluring charm that shows the depth of the emotion in the lines. I love when a writer is able to harness language and use it in such a way as to make it "sound" nice to the ear (because i always read poetry aloud after I've read it silently). Very nice, especially:

Take your coins
And point them to my resting place
There will be no salvation for men
Only a longing for revenge. -- I like the "coins" image...reminds me of Charon the ferryman.

[JayJayBlue]

Thank you for the review :)
In all honesty I've always tried to add some sort of rhythm to my works- just in case I can make songs out of them- I've always had a habit of reading poetry aloud too, I find it helps to structure ones work

[Michael G. Smith]

Yes, this here is the carnal side of man, that is why the atonement is so important. Your descriptions are very raw and graphic but these are the emotions that are felt by the betrayed.

[RainDancer1997]

Could be a nice song:) Great form:) Great job:)!

[Lexi Villanueva]

Ilike it how it rhymes and its amazing

[Marie]

Amazing. Death and its links to human nature is always an interesting topic to recreate

[Simon Welsh]

Love this too dude! Keep it up.

[Clara]

I like the way you rhyme and I think your musical influences play a big part in this.

Sacrifice seems like an inevitable necessity to the act of betrayal.
Someone is sacrificing something, even if that something is you.

I can really relate to this. Great write. :)