When I had that fever (vid poem)

When I had that fever
I saw spiders

big, hairy, unwholesome
spiders

they were crawling
on walls and ceiling
they were repelling
down silky lines
and checking
my pupils

I was begging
that they
go away

my son 
was scared
and saying
what's wrong
with daddy?

nothing, said my ex
go to sleep

after the spiders
the dead came

my mother, brother
best friend
from high school
time to go, they said
I don't want to
I said, leave me be

through fog
I heard my ex
tell me to stop
screaming, but
I didn't know
I was screaming

she said after
two days of this
I've had enough

she was cruel
a slave
to her addictions

I lay in that state
for 3 days
before I found
strength
to drive myself
to the hospital

the doctor said
oh my god
when he looked
at the x-ray
of my inflamed 
internal organs

I will
never forget that

hell of a thing
to hear your 
doctor say

I was rushed
to surgery

sometimes 
I think
I surrendered 
to those visions

that I died 
in those
sweaty sheets
and this unloved
life I've lived
since then
has been 
the real
fever dream

will someone
wake me up

Reviews

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

This piece silently snuck by. Vivid and heartwrenching. Thankful you woke up. Are you awake yet Jay? Thanks for the wide eyed read.

[emmajoy]

WHY OH WHY haven't you had any reviews for this immensely powerful, heartbreaking poem?

How you've managed to lay out such pain, 'don't know but you have. The reading against the video is more than painful and whilst it might seem out of place, thank you for pushing home the anguish of such feelings. Makes for more empathy and is truly great writing.