Bye bye

Bye bye

A Poem by Just Jayren
"

The inspiration for this came from the song 'Pretty Wings - from Maxwell'

"
You're fading
Standing there aimlessly in dispair
But all I can see is the shimmering glow that used to surround you departing
And my affection is hitch-hiking a ride

It feels like I've been kneeling before you with outstretched arms
And my hands perched in front of them
Begging you to give me something
So I know what to tell my feelings
Because I wish you would slow down sometimes
Just so you can see me smiling at you

But if I'm left with any humanity for a more happier me
After axing you from my world
I'll keep a single picture of you so I know that it was a good idea not to cut all the way through, because I know your wings won't leave you entierly.

© 2012 Just Jayren


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Reviews

It ached for me just to read the title.. such a sorrowful letting go. And though I've said goodbye more times than I wish to remember, I am still made up of fragments of their recollections.

Posted 11 Years Ago


You have a lot of deep emotion in this poem, so much that you can feel the pain ~ Very sad, and very well said ~ you can tell it's from the heart.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I really love your expressions and how your emotions flowed...a really deep write from the soul. Nicely done Jayren. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is very sad and very well expressed in this poem. I really love how you put the words together. It is nice flow. Well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


So deep and rich in sadness.. The love still being honored for what it was but also such pain in letting go..xo

Posted 12 Years Ago


this is sad and really emotional, nicely expressed

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like your voice, how you just write - the way your lines form in connection with thoughts. I wouldn't change the format, I hate poetry that arranges its lines just because it looks more conventional or because its easier or more poetic or whatever else people say. This is my kind of writing, I just get the emotion of it more.

you might want to run this over spell check, other than that, nice.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love this it is powerful a plea a poets remorse
one thought in line 8 how about changing tell my feelings to my soul

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is really good. I think you could make the format more attractive, play with the lines more, break them where it is natural to pause.

"I will keep a single picture of you
for I know it is best not
to cut all the way through,
because I know your wings
won't leave you
entirely."



Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on February 1, 2011
Last Updated on May 27, 2012

Author

Just Jayren
Just Jayren

London, Lewisham, United Kingdom



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For those who are wondering, yes Jayren is my real name. more..

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