Human -Seeking- Paramount

ADVOCATING BRIGHTNESS

Furthering my creation-
Whilst residing and glowing in
The continuum of war..

BREATHING now the necessities of bone and muscle chains
And through the toxicities in dissonant consciousness in flames

This is a spiral of consonance and kinship.
In shambles and disorder

And even the common disarray stirs no true emulation
Toward a great perceptibility and ardor..

So

Like patience for a drug……….

Like propriety in a chamber all alone………………………..

A doctrine in acquiescence or with an
Ethereal tongue
Is the paramount in the existing world unbeknown..

-

Suit sorrow with a droning
Soundboard to the sky
And leave the boards unlocked and
Sing cause you’re alive.

-

Humanitys blasphemy is like an impalement to the skull.
Seeking yet starving; and denying what we all hold.

Like being bitten and picking at the bone.
Like a moon in hiding or an ear deaf to key and tone.

We illuminate our breath and movement
With out tale to tell or words to tell the wise.
We threaten and kill and distract and despise.


Riding along with our equality in torture-
It’s a pandemonium of Earthly nature.

But believe we are nothing but alembics and default.
Down here, in the moor; in the downright chaos of it all.

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

Intriguing clash of Eros & Thanatos. The Fire always has its way & its poles are incandescent Spirit Love & thermonuclear smithereens. Since most humans are half-assed in discerning whither thou goest, yawning Fate hangs in the balance. This poem stimulates the paradox eloquently.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

interesting insight...it makes me wonder imagine if the hanging/balance of which you speak is linear or lateral, contextually speaking, ofc

[Pax Analog]

Well, in a web o' life, interconnectivity is multilinear. Every human deals w/schizoid programming. All roads of seeking lead to ambiguity. Hence the subtler call of Nonduality, transcendence stemming from before the time of Gautama Buddha.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

yeah, schizoid programming should have died when the corpus callosum was formed in our pea brains..Julian Jaynes pointed this out and few listened. If there really was a Jesus, he probly knew about it and mentioned it and they cleverly wrote it out of there as cleverly as he wrote it in. I guess it's a seek and you will find more than you bargained for type of thing...I wanna think nonduality is more than just a catalyst and a koan..we all experience to varying degrees I spose...back to the poem though, I think there is def a harmony in this poem that def resonates unity...it is honest and let's the reader know that w/e this all is, is a worthwhile challenge

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

*lets

[Pax Analog]

I think Nonduality is capital R Reality & history is largely reality-ism. In order to experience a release in unity, integral mental processes that bridge the gap between consensus duality & spiritual Nonduality are needed. I consider this the highest calling for the poet, & your fine poem is in the stream of this wonder work.

[Pax Analog]

Correction: Jazmen's poem. ;-)

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

yeah, as I stated, the best I can do is hope to live vicariously thru it, so I figured

[MOON]

We overcome our better nature, we succumb to the lowest, we fail to see the humanity in each other... Suit sorrow witha droning... Striking . Thought provoking deep write.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

If you've seen 'In Bruges' you'll know what I'm talking about when I say all I can see are the end of the world paintings they stop to look at. With the skin being peeled back from the bodies of tiny people as giant heads and beasts roam the Earth, picking off those far from being saved.

The onslaught of insanity within our social confinement is a torrent, and like you said, it results in a moor of chaos. A quagmire or cesspit of our own making. And we can't even tread water.

You paint a very brutal and cannibalistic picture, a world in which there is little salvation and we are the masters of our own downfall. Like we are the ones jumping at the chance to harbour souls and trade a life for a sense of personal enlightenment created by our sense of ego and pride.

I do like your style. Your rhythm and pace is self-determining and is defined more by context than the other way round. That way of writing is refreshing and certainly appeals to me. We are forced to read and digest your writing in very much the same way we are forced to smell rotten fish or become hungry at the smell of bacon being grilled or fried.

It's like yawning, but with words.

There is an inherent chaos that lies within us; the ones so removed from the nature to which they were born just a short life before. Remember that saying about how the man was lost in the jungle and was helped by all the animals to garner qualities such as strength, wisdom and courage before gaining everything he needed to survive alone. And then he left and used these things against they who taught him. And yet even though he felt strong and aleviated he would always be lacking that extra something deep within him. Never to be filled. He would always have a hole.

I feel this is one of the points you are making. That we are hollow, vicious and delusional. Like the chaos has become normal for us. It's our stability, our serene state of being. Like it's OK and shouldn't be challenged.

There is chaos in becoming excited about buying a television for half-price or being able to checkout your own food and cut the queues. In becoming embroiled in the latest film or tv series craze. Then there is war. And looting. And riots. And fights. And disputes. And hatred. And religion. And everything else. Everything else we can inflict our sense of being and ego into. As if we should ever be ashamed to not value ourselves more so than the next guy.

A strip of film from 300 runs in my head when you mention the alchemists as well as talking of fighting and conflict. That crazy, crazy explosion of ideals and conflicts crashing together as if it were the only important thing to ever wash up on that beach and between the cliffs.

I believe your message is that we spend so much time deciding the fate of others and warring between ourselves within a highly fake and artificial social existence that we lose the very essence, the very notion of self, and create such ego and self-worth that we are merely faceless masks of the souls digging their nails into our wretched backs, crumbling beneath such uselessness.

[Jazmen]

After reading this review I re-read the poem and felt a lot of things were missing from it.. I like how you put it into perspective, it is what you say it is, in addition I respect your input because it's coming from another experience, very valid, hard for some to understand.. thanks.
We suffocate in our madness but yet with the capability to breathe through the bastions we set up for ourselves, or the ones we may believe were set up by others, all is binding and makes us blind and deaf to the betterness of ourselves.. yet with out all of these sad human experiences we find no results in goodness in the end..whenever it may be, to each his own.....
with out evil there would be no good..
the humans will get more evil before they find peace
But all is well beacuse we're alembics and default. When we die perhaps the sorrow ends, and in writing this I believed that we could transcend the filth of our natures alive and mortal (war, hate, jealousy, gossip, indecency to one another because of the other, always the other. irrationalization, blame, anger, abuse, addiction..etc..) and find some kind of purification process in the madness, perhaps the purifying begins when we accept it as our nature and fight against it with a new found peace somhow.. All will fall as it may, for we are incapable for being responsible over the way others act. All that is irritating or evil reveal nothing to you if not only your pity.

[JohnnyMagrinho]

Our Buddha-nature is key to being free of those very 'human' afflictions. But like you say, realising our Buddha-nature is extremely difficult, and it's more likely we will stay in the darkened, selfish state of war and hate and jealousy and all the hatred and loathing that has bound us for so long.

It is only when we realise our Buddha-nature and succumb to Chenrezig and the very way to be that we will ever find some sort of peace. I'm not saying Buddhism will unlock the key to life, but I am saying perhaps this Buddha-nature just stands for our inner ability to be kind and compassionate to one another and do things for the right reason rather than for the self. Perhaps we need to become less selfish, and invest less time in the ego for us to truly see one another.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

because of how this poem is woven/structured, I feel compelled to do it this way
MY APOLOGIES FOR THE CAPS, I'M USING THEM FOR VISUAL PURPOSES
Furthering my creation- Whilst residing and glowing in The continuum of war..
AS I STATED EARLIER, I HOPE THE COMMENT ABOUT THIS LINE WAS STATED FACETIOUSLY AND IRONICALLY, BECAUSE IT WORKS WELL AT BEING CONCISE AND FORESHADOWING EVERYTHING SINGLE CONCEPT THAT FOLLOWS...YOU ARE WEIGHING AND DISCUSSING VERY REAL AND TANGIBLE AND ABSTRACT CONCEPTS AND YOU KEPT THE INTRODUCTION SIMPLE,BUT NOT SO SIMPLE IT INSULTS THE READER'S INTELLIGENCE..IF THE FLOW IS IN FACT, AS STATED IN THE REVIEW, AWKWARD IN ANY WAY, THAT MAKES IT NOTHING MORE THAN A CONTRAST, GIVING IT MORE POWER AND EFFECTIVENESS, NOT LESS
BREATHING now the necessities of bone and muscle chains
And through the toxicities in dissonant consciousness in flames
THIS FLOWS BEAUTIFULLY AND PHONETICALLY AND VISUALLY..A PARADOX I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD TAKE THE TIME TO CONSIDER, BUT ALAS, MOVING ON
This is a spiral of consonance and kinship.
In shambles and disorder
I HAVE NO WORDS FOR HOW WELL THIS IS WORDED
And even the common disarray stirs no true emulation
Toward a great perceptibility and ardor..
So
Like patience for a drug……….
Like propriety in a chamber all alone………………………..
I LIKE HOW YOU SPACED THIS AND USED IT AS A TRANSITION..YOU CREATE THIS ATMOSPHERE OF COMFORTABLE SILENCE WHILE YOU DETACHEDLY PROCEED WITH YOUR MUSINGS..YOU'VE GIVEN WHAT YOU ARE WITNESSING IN YOUR MIND JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF OBSERVATION AND JUDGMENT AND SUCH CONTROL IN IT EXPRESSING..WELL DONE
A doctrine in acquiescence or with an
Ethereal tongue
Is the paramount in the existing world unbeknown..
I LIKE HOW YOU USE EMPTY SPACES TO POTENTIALLY PROVOKE EMOTION WHILE SETTING A POSSIBLY DIFFERENT TONE, DEPENDING ON THE READER'S LEVEL OF AWARENESS
-
BUT THEN SUCH THINGS MERELY SEEM CIRCUMSTANTIAL, WHICH IS WHY A POEM SUCH AS THIS IS SO IMPORTANT
Suit sorrow with a droning
Soundboard to the sky
And leave the boards unlocked and
Sing cause you’re alive.
I LIKE HOW THIS IS A TRANSFORMATION OF THOUGHTS IN THE PREVIOUS STANZAS/LINES
-
AND..AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS OF HOW CONTRADICTIONS NEED A NEW NAME WHEN YOU'VE ALLOWED YOURSELF TO SEE THEM COEXISTING AND REVEL IN THE EXPERIENCE, THEREIN LIES THE FORESHADOWING AS WELL
Humanitys blasphemy is like an impalement to the skull.
Seeking yet starving; and denying what we all hold.
AS I SAID...
Like being bitten and picking at the bone.
Like a moon in hiding or an ear deaf to key and tone.
THE REPETITION OF MUSICAL REFERENCES AGAINST THE BACKDROP OF ASTROLOGICAL ALLEGORY OF SELF-AWARENESS/REFLECTION IS INSPIRING HERE
We illuminate our breath and movement
With out tale to tell or words to tell the wise.
We threaten and kill and distract and despise.
THIS IS A LITTLE TOO PREACHY, JUST KIDDING, FELT LIKE BEING AN A*S..I WAS STARTING TO FEEL TOO SERIOUS, LOL...YOU'RE STRIPPING OFF LAYERS...WE NEED TO SEE CONTRADICTION AS CONTRAST AT TIMES, I THINK
Riding along with our equality in torture-
It’s a pandemonium of Earthly nature.

But believe we are nothing but alembics and default.
Down here, in the moor; in the downright chaos of it all.
I SEE ALEMBICS VS. DEFAULT AS PERHAPS SEPARATING THE ALCHEMISTS FROM THE HERD, BUT IT'S ALSO DIFFERENT CHANNELS FLOWING THROUGH OUR CONSCIOUSNESS..AND I LOVE HOW THE MOOR REPRESENTS A WASTELANDS, BUT IT CAN ALSO BE A GAME RESERVE, WHICH IS BOTH AN HOMAGE TO A PREVIOUS LINE AND LANGUAGE ITSELF

I TRULY ENJOYED THIS JOURNEY THROUGH CONTRAST AND CHAOS..IDK HOW VALID MY OPINIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS WERE, BUT THEY SEEMED MORE APPROPRIATE THAN SAYING "GET OUT OF MY HEAD"

CAUSE I PROBLY ONLY HAVE THE MENTAL SKILL TO LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH A POEM LIKE THIS AND GIVE IT REVIEW THAT ATTEMPTS TO BE SOMETHING MORE THAN HALF-ASSED

[Jazmen]

Jeeze, man, thank you so much for such an intricate review.. I appreciate it so much, your thoughts are sincere and thoughtful, thank you, I am delighted to hear them, this piece is important to me. Your thoughts werent half assed, either, by the way, god, I'm glad you were available to be sucked into it at least half as much as I hoped this poem would demand.
Alembics vs default doesn't exist in the idea though, it's all the same, no them and us sort of ideal. I believe we are all default, we're all made a certain way and expected to do no more than we're capable of in our experience, however great or however short or however stupid our lives turn out to be, we are nothing but alembics anyhow, being purified through all the pros and cons in our human lives til the our last day inside these mortal shells.. it was all for a reason and it was all very beautiful. Even the child that died or the murderer in the chair. No one knows how more than we do ourselves, deep within in the most darkest depths of our thoughts, even there they may be unreachable from here- I just believe its a process of purification to the Greater Beyond.
Anyway, thank you for the wondrous compliments and the time you set aside to review this one.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

you're welcome. didn't take me that long I don't think. but I have no life, so it doesn't matter, ha. I can see what you're saying, from the explanation..it's an interesting PoV to consider both in life and the context of the poem. We all bring different beliefs to a table such as this, which is what makes the discussion interesting. How f*****g boring if we all believed exactly the same on everything? I'm not saying I do/don't agree/disagree on any particular point..I just find the variations intriguing

[Laura Maidah]

The first line is phonetically awkward according to modern linguistic conventions of poetry and conceptually. IMHO your other lines are better.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

irony wrapped in a maelstrom of syllogistics wrapped in bacon! I wasn't critiquing your reviewing, I was saying that DEF should have been the first line. good call, most def, maid.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

or maybe something about patterns and entropy in an open system and irregular vibrations...

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

in all seriousness though, I truly hope you were alluding to this line juxtaposed to the next two stanzas in a bemusing meme

[Laura Maidah]

Did you revise this? I love the ellipses. I HATE ellipses normally. You used so f*****g many and I am loving it.I don;t remember seeing them from before.

[Jazmen]

I can't remember if I revised those or not.. probably a little bit here and there.. by this I mean, I probably cut back on a few as opposed to have added them.

[MoriartyMesa]

Could not help think this would make something great for the stage,
"A doctrine in acquiescence or with an
Ethereal tongue
Is the paramount in the existing world unbeknown.."

that would knock of few seats back.

[EYES OF MY SOUL]

Its different might have to read it a second time,but i like it its unique in its own way. I think what caught my attention is the whole subject about nature ,but your approach caught me off guard good writing.

[...]

. wow ... i had to google many words ... as english is my second language ... but i agree with your philosophy ... and i love how you've structured this poem ... i especially liked the "blasphemy" stanza a lot ... indeed, mankind has a lot of growing up to do ...