The Note

The Note

A Poem by Robert Luna
"

Just something that came to me. I hope you enjoy it.

"

There mingled, intertwined with pocket lint and loose coins

are the words I love you scribbled on a crinkled napkin

A confession, proclamation if you would,

just words on a page to most

but these words mean the world to him

Having found them three days, two hours, and twenty eight minutes

from that moment….when his heart broke a thousand times, a thousand ways

 

The moment he heard you were never coming home

It’s all he has

It’s all that remains of you he holds onto

Carefully he folds it end over end twice

and once more to be safe

Wouldn’t want to let the words of his soul escape

These faded words written in red lipstick, words that won’t erase

 

A heart expressed so simply, so purely, so perfectly in three words

In his head retracing that day

Oh how he begged you to just stay

to waste the day away laying in bed

Seems a lifetime ago, but a lifetime too soon

But a man of his word, promising to love you forever

and that’s exactly what he will do

 

There in his pocket he carries his heart

upon three little words scribbled on a napkin

The words I Love You

It’s all he has left, but it’s enough

for him to wear a smile to hide the tears

Photobucket

© 2008 Robert Luna


Author's Note

Robert Luna
Just something that came to me I hope you enjoy it

My Review

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Featured Review

As usual, you have turned out a very well-written piece. The intense sorrow was so palpable that I can feel tears in my eyes. My heart broke for him, carrying his only reminder of his true love.

I found myself falling into this piece, which is the norm when reading your work. It was delicate and gentle, yet deeply sad and touching. It's hard to combine those aspects, yet you do so beautifully. Well done.

But a man of his word, promising to love you forever
and that's exactly what he will do

By far your most moving lines... These keep floating around in my head. To keep a promise to someone who is no longer around... That's a trait not often seen. It is held in very high regard.

I loved that you wrote this in a way that forced the reader to draw his or her own conclusions. Did she die? Did she leave? Where did she go and why did she leave? Those issues remain unresolved; it's up to the reader. I love pieces that do this. Like life, you didn't wrap this piece up completely, resolving all the issues. There are still some questions that need to be answered. I loved this!

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

Aww, what happened? We are not told and I am longing to know or rather maybe not - they will not be together again obviously, heartwrenching. Great write. Those words certainly are powerful and to have them scribed so as a reminder - lovely writing. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so beautifully painful.

I remember holding on to a tiny piece of paper, "just words on a page to most ... but these words mean the world to him." Wishing it was all different, wishing you could go back to those moments in time. My heart painfully holding your words tight, "Wouldn't want to let the words of his soul escape." But alas, life moves on, my heart lingers, "but it's enough ... for him to wear a smile to hide the tears."


Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 3 people found this review constructive.

I get this image- him folding it over several times to keep it safe, wow. You sure captured everything that matters the most here, kinda laying it all out on the line. I'm still fascinated me how easily you can do that.

Amazing writing, my dear friend. :+)



Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have to agree with Natalie C on her comment
she expressed well what I could not, but I will say this took me back to when
I wrote those words on paper, not knowing if he still has them now or not....Anyways it took me back
Great write! I am always in awe of your talent and look forward to reading more

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

oh, Robert, your words grow stronger all the time. Your empathic nature ever deeper, always more in tune with the hearts around you.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Brilliant, Robert. Beautifully written, your way with words always draws in your readers from start to finish. This is a favorite.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Seems a lifetime ago, but a lifetime too soon......

It's all he has left, but it's enough
for him to wear a smile to hide the tears
I can't hide my tears Robert , thanks for sharing this is all I can say

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You again look for expression of such a feeling we hardly can deal with, this "loss thing", which would be breading our soul with what we feel but cannot see, a thing left on a napkin, nothing but 3 words, nothing except a napkin; such a thing would get enormous significance. Loved the last lines.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Heart-breakingly poignant. Lovely.

(Picture made it a lil cheesy though. I think the impact would be greater if you just posted the poem. Just a suggestion.)

Btw, I especially love this part: 'it's enough for him to wear a smile to hide the tears' :)

Loves,
Raven





Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I always love your little something that just come up.....
(you have to tell me sometime where you find them - ha ha)

Robert this was brilliantly beautiful, I know I said it before but you really have this amazing talent of drawing your readers into your words, this one was no exception.
Such a tender and yet heart braking piece, one can't help but to sigh at the end of this, almost feeling those unspeakable emotions first hand.

Oh I really really loved this, it has to go to my favs straight away!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 24, 2008

Author

Robert Luna
Robert Luna

Somewhere between here and there



About
My name is Robert. I write therefore I feel I am. My words come from my heart, soul, and mind. I write what I feel and see, life is my inspiration. Life itself is art in its purest form. There is noth.. more..

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