Sonnet 31

Your face is like dessert for my blue eyes

How did God make you, an angel, so fair?

You are a blessing God did not disguise,

Hark! No woman, nor angel, could compare.

Your sweet lips stick out, begging for a kiss,

Your fair body begs me to hold you tight,

Every minute I hold you is bliss,

I want to hold you, Love, throughout the night.

But, this does fill my own heart with remorse;

My eyes cry tears that shall evaporate,

But, our two star-crossed hearts must stay the course,

One day, together, we may celebrate.

  Baby, I cannot wait for that great day,

  The day it can be our vows we can say.

Reviews

[*Always be Me:)*]

aaaaaaawwwwwwww i can totally relate to this!!

[Gabi Celaya]

I'm a guy, btw Sarah.

[Sarah]

wow her review was kinda harsh lol. i'm going to say i love it cuz its about me hahahaha

[Gabi Celaya]

"Hark! No woman, nor angel, could compare." I don't like the rhythm of this line, it doesn't feel like it flows.
"two star-crossed hearts" This is a cliché. Any phrase that appears in Shakespeare has been used to death, so I'd advise you to replace it with something fresher.
I think that you've got an inconsistent style of diction in this poem. Long story short, I don't think anyone can really pull off having both "Hark!" and "Baby". Also, a lot of the diction is awkwardly phrased, the last line has this problem as does the ninth line.
Honestly, I don't think this is nearly as good as the two other sonnets of yours that I've had time to look at. But you wanted a review on this one, so here you are.