Andorra's fall

Andorra's fall

A Story by Misty_Prophet
"

Andorra is awaken in her bed at the middle of the night. There is a strange presence in her bedroom. Something dark and frightening... Could it be the last night of her life, or just a terrible dream?

"
     Something woke me up. My bedroom was so dark, I couldn't see anything. I sat upright on my bed, motionless. The truth is I feared to make a move. I feared to make a sound. My heart was racing, felt like anyone can hear it for miles.
      There was no doubt. Someone was in my room. I could hear someone's breathing. Vaguely familiar creaking sound, was coming from the direction of my door. Chills went down my spine, as I realized that someone was in my rocking chair. My hand instinctively went toward the lamp on my bedside table. Room lit up, as the rays of my vintage lamp peeked in every corner.
- Do you remember when Hayden almost died?
     I was staring at the person. Couldn't say a single word. I kept saying to myself: I'm dreaming! Closed my eyes, but when I opened them, she was still there, staring back at me.
- Do you remember when Hayden almost died?
     Off course I remember! It was the toughest time of my life... My mind was screaming. This couldn't be real. I pinched myself, but nothing happened. The woman stood up. She was wearing dark blue jeans and coffee colored shirt. She had a same necklace, that was hanging from my neck. It was a gift from Hayden, when he was sick from leukemia. The woman had chestnut brown hair, and same fearless look as I once had. My neck hair stood up as she repeated her question.
- Do you remember when Hayden almost died?
     The woman was me, about ten years ago. My mind was fighting to grasp onto the reality, as my hands started to shake.
- Do you remember when Hayden almost died?
- Yes! I remember! How could I ever forget?!
- Do you know why I'm here?
- I know... You are here to collect.
- That's right.
- Please, I need more time... - I begged her, but deep down I knew this day was eventually going to come. 
- Come, I want to show you something.
     She waved her hand, and I followed her. She led me through my hallway, and towards Hayden's room. There, in front of the door, she stopped. As I was standing next to myself, ten years younger, I realized how old I have become. My hair, once so beautiful and shiny, was now fragile and mottled with gray strands. My flawless skin turned into wrinkled and dry. What happened to me?
- For now, you will become invisible. There is something inside, that you must see, before I collect.
- Okay... - I said, suspecting that this can't be good.
      She passed through the closed door. Could I do the same? I tried and my hand disappeared inside the door. I've never seen anything like it. I squeezed my teeth and went straight trough. When I opened my eyes, I could see I was in my son's bedroom. He wasn't sleeping as I thought he was. No. He was sitting on the floor, leaned to his bed. He had his earphones, the one with big pads, on. His head was moving following the beat. The music was so loud, I could hear it from the door. It was something hypnotic, and I could see that he was in some sort of trance. As I approached him, next to his hand, there were needles and syringes. My son was drugged! No, this can't be true! I stumbled onto the floor in disbelief. Younger me just smirked. I reached with my hands to grab Hayden and shake him out of it, but I couldn't even touch him. My hand went straight trough him. 
- Hayden!!! Please... Son, please don't... - Tears were pouring down my face as I tried to talk. 
- He can't hear you.
- Why? - I moaned.
- Because you are invisible.
     I jumped, and grabbed her by the neck of the shirt.
- Then make me visible again!
- It doesn't work that way.
- You b***h! Undo it! Now! - I was screaming to her face, also crying at the same time.
- There is one more thing you must see, and then I'll reconsider your request...
- What? Could it be any more worse than this?
     She didn't say a word. With one move of her hand, the scene around me changed. I was in a motel room, and there were two people in bed. Darkness filled my body. The person I trusted the most, my husband was in bed with some other woman. He was supposed to be working! Lying b*****d! He was whispering in her ear, about their new life together. I just didn't know what to do. I broke out crying again, and fell to the floor. 
- How was this possible? - I could barely speak between the moans.
- You asked me to give you a perfect life, with Hayden cured, and harmony in your marriage. You two were pretty close to splitting  up, weren't you?
- How was this a perfect life?
- You did have a perfect life. You lived in ignorance, not knowing about his affairs, nor your son's addiction. Tell me that's not perfect... You still wanna go back to your life?
- No... I don't know. I did everything for this family, and this is how they pay me back? I made a pact with you, the Devil! Just so Hayden would be cured and so we could have a normal life... 
- Andorra, I have to collect your soul.
- Do it. It can't be worse than this betrayal. - I wiped the tears off my cheeks, and I stood up. I was ready. She waved her hand once more and everything around me broke to pieces, and then disappeared. Around me, everything was grey and I knew I must be in Limbo. But noting could have prepared me for where I showed up at the end.
     I was falling deeper and deeper, only to become awaken, by the rays of light. They reminded me of sun, that usually awoke me in the morning. I could almost smell the coffee from the kitchen. I smiled as I was still falling. Into the pits of hell.

© 2011 Misty_Prophet


Author's Note

Misty_Prophet
Tell me everything!

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This was very good! I couldn't stop reading. That twist you put in there, about the devil fulfilling his promise to her by keeping her ignorant of everything, that was intense. I really enjoy short thriller (or horror if that's what this was under) stories like this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was an intense piece. I really enjoyed it. Well done. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

EERIE AND CREEPY, but really a wonderful read!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This reminds me a bit of "A Christmas carol", at least in the respect that Andorra (not Scrooge) is shown the truth of things. I have some suggestions that I believe would make it better, but I'll reveal those in a message.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very good! I couldn't stop reading. That twist you put in there, about the devil fulfilling his promise to her by keeping her ignorant of everything, that was intense. I really enjoy short thriller (or horror if that's what this was under) stories like this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Wow! That was intense indeed, at first I thought astral trip? Maybe maybe not? But then as you continue reading you realize the true story behind it here. Nicely done Misty_Prophet.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Misty... wow.. kind of intense but I liked it... other than the few
grammaticals, it moved very well and didnt pause for a moment...
What tales the mind invents uh? Good luck with all your writing.
Stan

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

661 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 18, 2011
Last Updated on September 30, 2011
Tags: devil, death, mystery, night

Author

Misty_Prophet
Misty_Prophet

Serbia



About
Hi, call me Jay :D I'm an uprising writer from Serbia and my favorite genre is thriller/horror. My favorite writer is Carlos Ruiz Zafón. Please read something of his, his writing style is am.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


"M" PLANTS "M" PLANTS

A Poem by Mark