Wine & Antidepressants

A piece I wrote as an insert for my novel.

It was Tuesday night. He was sitting alone, his room barely lit by his computer screen. The volume of his headphones meant that he couldn’t hear anything except ‘Dark Blue’ by Jack’s Mannequin. His eyes were closed. He was trying to piece together his thoughts, trying to work out what had happened, where everything had gone so wrong. He sobbed.

They met in Year 11, but it wasn’t until they were finishing uni that they really go to know each other. They drunkenly bumped into each other in town and spent the night together. It wasn’t long before they were living together.

‘Everything was f*****g perfect.’ He thought to himself, downing his glass of wine.

His mind wandered to her face. He remembered it so perfectly. So many times he’d touched it, run his fingers along her lips, wiped away her tears. He poured himself another glass of wine, letting the last drops of the bottle fall.

He opened her Facebook page and started clicking through her photos. She was smiling in every one. He looked closely at her eyes, almost hoping to see something hidden in them, a reason for all of this, but there wasn’t.

His desk was filled with empty wine bottles, cigarettes and anti-depressants. His doctor prescribed them a few weeks ago, he wasn’t sure why.

“I’m just f*****g sad.” He remembered saying. He went and picked them up anyway. He hadn’t taken any.

He shuffled in his seat as he lit his thirteenth cigarette for the evening. He wondered how it was possible for his mind to be racing but so blank at the same time. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on ‘The Lovecats’ bellowing through his headphones, but he couldn’t.

He thought about her funeral, about watching her mother stooped over the casket. He’d never seen someone so broken. He didn’t cry that day, or for days and days after. He picked up the tablets from his desk.

Tofranil: 150mg. Take one tablet daily with food.

With his cigarette hanging out of his mouth, he started popping the tablets onto his desk. There were 150 of them in total. He arranged them perfectly. For the first time since she left, he smiled, sipping on his wine, marveling at his handy-work.

‘F**k it.’ He thought, grabbing a handful and throwing them into his mouth. He chased them with a drag of his cigarette and a gulp of wine. In minutes, the tablets were gone. He let out a breath and put ‘I Will Follow You into the Dark’ by Death Cab for Cutie on repeat, before lighting another cigarette.

With his wine in one hand and his cigarette in the other, he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He didn’t have tears left to cry any more. He felt an aura of peace wash over him.

“I’ll see you soon.” He whispered.

 

Author's Note

This piece hasn't been edited at all, yet - I generally wait a matter of weeks before I attempt to re-read my work, so I can edit with a clear idea of what needs to be done.

Reviews

[Linda alexander]

Reader can easily travel with writer, he did not want to pick up the tofranil prescribed by the doctor, still he picked it up, those lines makes the images very closer to real worldly images of different life stages, here more sadness and leaning towards tragedy, great way of presenting and footage to real world, well done

[matrixmark]

I really liked the opening sentence, there could be a few chage to be made BUT it didn't take away a paragraph which was a great hook for the reader. You've gave the reader a good sense of sadness and heartache regarding how much the guy misses and yearns for the girl he longs to be still alive as we find out in later parts of this piece, which followed nicely on from the previous paragraph. It was a very sad ending and gave true depth about how much he really wanted to see her again.
If sadness in a read is what you were going for, then you certainly suceeded.
Mark.