The Best Excuse Ever.

This story is about a boy who didn't do his assignment. Thus, he had to make an excuse.

The Unicorn Saves

I promise there is a great reason for why I don’t have my project today.  You won’t believe what happened to me this week!  We are moving next month. Thus, I finished my project a week before it was due so that I could start packing on Monday. My family graciously packed my room Tuesday, but someone put my project into a box.  Everything went wrong from there.

Before I knew it, my assignment was a stowaway in one of the many boxes which were sent to our new home 200 miles away.  On Thursday, a day before my project was due, I opened my closet assuming my project would be there.  With shivers of terror running down my spine, I frantically searched for my missing assignment.  Stumbling out of my room and into the kitchen I yelled, “Who packed my project?”

My mom, being the patient and kind mother she is said, “Honey, I believe I spotted your little brother packing it Tuesday.”

“Arg!” I screamed like a pirate. “Why do these things always happen to me?”  

My mother offered to retrieve my project by driving to our new home.  We hopped in our car and drove off to reclaim my activity.

I was relieved to know I could return with my project before it was due, but I knew little of the trials which were to ensue.  Fifteen minutes passed by and everything was going smoothly until a tractor trailer ran a red light.  My mom had no reaction time and slammed into the truck going 30.  Lucky for me the sunroof was open. I went flying out over the trailer and landed on a huge stuffed lion a girl threw into the road seconds earlier.  At first I was confused, then my mom shouted, “Jesse! Hire a taxi and ride to our new house!”

 Following my mom’s instructions, I whistled and waved a taxi down to pick me up.  I told him where I wanted to go and he said nothing at first.  Then, to my surprise, lights flashed and a thundering noise erupted from the cars speakers.  I was in the Cash Cab.

He told me, “You are in the Cash Cab!  All you have to do is listen to questions and receive money for answering them correctly. Also, the questions increase in difficulty as you go.”

 I enjoyed the thought of making money while driving to my destination, thus I accepted the challenge.  After answering three questions, I shouted, “This is aweso,”  *Whoop Whoop*

I was stopped in the middle of my sentence by a burst of police sirens behind us. The cab driver looked nervous and yelled, “Shut up and stay down!”

 While stepping on the gas, the driver pulled out a handgun and fired at the officers.  I was completely terrified by now and pleaded, “Please just stop the car! Running away won’t help!”

By now three cop cars were racing in pursuit of us.  After drifting around pillars and coming close to crashing, the driver slowly backed into a dark garage.  When my eye’s adjusted to the darkness I was appeased to see a crowd cheering for me.  Gasping with relief, I heard someone say the driver was Jeff Gordon.  It was all a prank.

By now I was furious with anger and demanded someone to call a taxi.  When the taxi arrived I quickly hopped in and gave the driver directions to my house. He drove to it with ease.  After paying the driver, I stepped out of the car and ran to my house.  Upon arriving at my doorstep, a man tramped out of the door wearing a ski mask.

He looked at me and I at him.  Then I noticed he was carrying my project.

“Hand that over please,” I demanded in a shaky voice. “It’s my school project.”

“Why would I care about you and your project?” said the man in a grungy voice.

He drew a gun and pointed it directly at my head.  I closed my eyes, waiting for him to shoot. *Jab* Chuck Norris saved me by stabbing the robber with a pillow! I thanked him then anxiously wobbled to the road to hire another taxi.

The sun was setting as someone pulled up in a batmobile and said, “Get in, I’ll take you to where you’re going.”

I accepted, then asked who he was.  In a deep voice he answered, “I’m Batman!”

After that I didn’t speak for the rest of the drive.  All of the sudden The Joker flew down on his glider, threw a small explosive into the car and glided away.  Batman ejected me out of his mobile which sent me flying into the air.  For the third time that day, my life was saved. When I looked down Batman’s car exploded as a huge flying unicorn caught me before my demise.  When we were halfway back to my house, a missile came hurtling toward us.  I jumped clear of the explosion, but dropped my project while doing so.

Falling into the water, I landed by a whale who brought me back to my house.  A couple of hours later I hopped on the bus and road to school.  I’m so sorry, but I could use some sympathy for all I’ve gone through.

Sincerely,

Jesse.

Author's Note

This is suppose to be far fetched.

Reviews

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

xD hahaha this is very comical, I enjoyed reading it, I also liked how you added characters into your story that most people would know about, this way it is easier for the readers to find it funny, at least in my opinion. You have a nice way of transitioning from scene to scene and keeping the reader hooked.

Great Job

[JaneFoxscale]

Haha part of me wishes that were true. It's great, good job

[JesseLKellogg]

Thanks! I really enjoyed writing it. If my imaginations came true...well, it'd be a crazy world.

[Andrew Leister-Frazier]

I like the spirit of this piece. I had thought it would be funny if a teacher made the homework assignment "to come up with an excuse to why you don't have or didn't do your homework".

[Jeremy Hiles]

Haha, I was laughing so much during this story! Great job! I like the way you had Chuck Norris in there, saving you by using a pillow! Keep up the good work!

[JesseLKellogg]

Thanks! Yes I truly enjoy a good'ol Chuck in a story.

[Jeremy Hiles]

My pleasure!