The Calming Effect of Breathing

The Calming Effect of Breathing

A Poem by [email protected]!
"

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

"

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

© 2008 [email protected]!


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Featured Review

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Beautiful write.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, the healing that takes place when one chooses the Lord. Very nice peace and a great testament to the gift of life given when we just trust Him. Very nicely done.

~True

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really nice. I really like the rhyming scheme, and the message is great.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such a very poignant and powerful read. The story you tell is so emotional and heartfelt, as it also fulfills my needed dose of faith for the day. This touched my heart and reminds me, that with every day we struggle, in the end, it is only in faith that we will be set free from these painfull chains that hold us down.
Your ending also tells the reader of your new beginning, lovely!

"I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win."

Thank you for sharing and thank you for the touching tale of reality!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

One of the best poems. ever.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very powerful beautiful piece. Very well written and the imagery is simply amazing. I love the message.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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I LOVE this poem! I had a moment like this before and your writing brings back memories. :) I love the imagery. Your writing is very good! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was perfect. it flowed so wonderfully and was written so well. an amazing read!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WoW ... so very very nice indeed !!!
Such a marvel to read !!!
A most wonderful piece !!!
Written with such beauty and ease !!!

A Great Work !!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautiful! You're a really skilled writer! I loved the christian imagery and the beautifully crafted words. A really powerful and inspiring read...

"Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand
and rejoice at His healing hand
After a moment we begin to soar
and all my pain is here no more"

my favorite bit, something that will stay with me through out the day for sure :D It just really spoke to me, as the idea of bearing a cross and searching for the hand of Christ to relieve my burden is an all to familiar feeling.
I loved the language use too, it wasn't over the top- it was just so real (even though the imagery was gorgeously surreal). This is going straight into my favorites!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 2, 2008
Last Updated on June 3, 2008

Author

He@ther!
[email protected]!

About
My name is Heather, I'm twenty, future author and english teacher, highly analytical, The Vampire Diaries, A Tale of Two Cities, both classic and modern literature, the Victorian era, Coco Chanel, ext.. more..

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A Poem by TamiViolet