The Calming Effect of Breathing

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

[Aristophanes]

your writing is very nice... You rhyme is definitively on point... keep up the good work

[The Chimera]

:O WOW this poem is amazing!! I love what you chose to write about!

[Aaron B.]

This was amazing!

veryVERY well written!

I loved the meter and the imagery ALOT!

also the theme of letting go...something thats talked about alot, yet so very HARD to do.


this is going in my favorites :]]]]

[Wondering Mind]

This is a wonderfully penned, inspiring write. The rhyme flowed gracefully with well chosen words and expressions. Truly lovely.

[JRB]

this was a thoughtful write, enjoyed the read,
Jan/uisiom

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Very nice, I enjoyed this saga very much. You use of word and flow of written is excellent in thies write.
thanks for entering my contest and the best of luck.

[Antony]

the images that you have spread across this page are terrific, It is he that we always turn to when in distress and it is the gifts he hands to us, both bad and good, that eventually set us free, sometimes we don't even have to look for them, they just happen when least expected. I like the way you have presented this poem, the rhyme and flow is great.
Antony

[Emily_.]

I have to admit that generally I am not much inclined towards reading about faith and such issues but this is a really touching piece of work and gives a very powerful message. Some of the rhyming in this is brilliant, I particuraly like 'encaged','enraged' and the ending is fantastic in a way that I cannot describe.

[Dead Angel]

wow!!! so wonderfully written and the rhyming was out of this world!!! i love the imagery and the details u put into this. it was so smooth and went well together, and i love how strong ur faith and strength is in this poem. very well written and extremely creative!!! well done heather, very well done!!!

[Little Mouse]

This is amazing! So moving I got chills, rare! I'm giving this a perfect score, don't know if I've done that before, maybe once? Major kudos!!! -:3 )~~~