If I Could...

If I Could...

A Poem by Jewels
"

All the crazy things one might wish to do.

"

If I could...

 

I would soar across the sky.

Travel to different continents and in each wear a new disguise.

I would fling my self from a cliff and

Falling free, I would hit my destiny.

I'd see the hope of my future flash before my eyes

But then I'd continue to fall into a glass sea-

And with a cry,

I'd swim across that ocean faster than any fish

And I'd get to see in motion the inner workings that the world has to miss.

I'd dance on the moon and sing to the stars

And laugh with people that we think are on mars.

I'd camp in the jungle and jump through the trees.

I'd lay on the ground and let cheetah's sniff me.

I would tickle a bear and pet a baby lion.

I would love to hike up great mountains, without really trying.

Playing in the snow, I'd make a castle so big it would grow,

Into a stable home in which I would subside until I got old.

I'd love with a passion deeper then life

And never tell a lie even when stricken with strife.

I'd run through the clouds and look down on the earth

And find out the reasons humans were birthed.

I'd dream all day long even with my eyes open

And write a hit song that would start a revolution.

I'd swim with the sharks and sleep with the whales

I'd feed all the starving mouths in the world.

Striving for peace and freedom for all nations,

I might become a candidate and control the population.

I would paint up a masterpiece so skillfully flawless

That everyone would flock to my picture jawless.

I might put pen to paper and write a great novel

Even better then these modern day marvels!

If I could, If I could,

and I should, but I would

Complete all these things

And live out my dreams!


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2009 Jewels


Author's Note

Jewels
I edited this poem, getting rid of the original ending. As was pointed out to me my other ending didn't really fit well with the poem, but after working with it a little while longer I think I found a good fit. Tell me what you think.

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a
"And laugh with people that we think are on mars."
This line turned my mind around! Bravo!
What counts for the rest of the poem - it's wonderful. The writing is clear and skillful, it really takes on a light flight of some kind and the reader doesn't want to step off the airplane. Moreover, this poem isn't cliche at all, in my opinion, You have described a most romantic yet surprisingly realistic picture for most of the actions and ideas written are quite possible already or may be in near future. Metaphors are outstanding, as well as the comparisons - they cross out all of the slight banalities (such as "I'd feed all the starving mouths in the world", but that is really unimportant). The essentials are great. Though, since this isn't a love poem (i believe) and even if it is you shouldn't turn the scenario around with the last few lines - it bursts the bubble and doesn't contribute to the rest of the poem ("But the one thing that I would want the most Is to find the one who will eternally love me. Oh, wait! I have found him, my heart is complete! I am grounded again and in reality.") Nonetheless, this is a graceful write!



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Beautiful and sweet dreams. Funny part we could have a better world. I was a Soldier for 15 years. I travel to 40 countries. Never received a bad word or hate from anyone. I always maintain a smile and respected all people. We need new leaders with common sense and wisdom. Dreams keep our soul and spirit alive.
A amazing poem. Myself I want to suicide board the Pacific Oceans in the big storm. To roll with the powerful waves. Would be a good day.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


Aww I liked it a lot.
BUT "I'd love with a passion deeper then life." and "Even better then these modern day marvels!"
It should be "than."
I love this poem. Completely lovely!
~Lauren



Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It would be so wonderful to be able to do all of these things... so uplifting and in motivational work... we must always have dreams to strive for or we are not really living.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I like it. All the woulda shoulda coulda's that we go through. It's good to be pointed about reminding yourself to follow your dreams. Our world would be flat without the dreams othat others pursued.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Brilliant...BRILLIANT.....Absolutely brilliant. Great imagination and one-liners! I loved this piece and the change of pace you gave with every line! It felt like a trip around the world!

"And I'd get to see in motion the inner workings that the world has to miss."
This line just about encapsulates the entire piece because we're all missing some of the joys that you describe in this wonderful piece! I loved it and I welcome it into my library!!! You're dope Jewel!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Quite an ambitious "wish list"! Dreamy but, nicely expressed with some deep underlying meanings. A pleasure to read and welcome to the site.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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a
The new ending, in my opinion, is perfect! It's fits great, it is like the beginning has found it's natural end. I love this poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

God .oh dear another wonderful new appearance..what lovely write
how sweet and light is your soul..i enjoyed this song..this running around the world
i would fly the skies..travel different places..see the lovely faces
i would jump from high and hit my destiny
i would swim the oceans..dance on the moon ..sing to the stars
laugh with people that think i am from Mars..
would camp in the jungles ..lay on the bare ground..tickle a bear.pet a baby lion
climb mountains,play in the snow..build me big castles
dream all day..write a song ..ignite revolutions
striving for peace and freedom for all nations..for i am a free spirit..my heart is all love
i will do that and more ..if i could .then i would i would surely would
what lovely write..a dreamer you are with a heart of gold

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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a
"And laugh with people that we think are on mars."
This line turned my mind around! Bravo!
What counts for the rest of the poem - it's wonderful. The writing is clear and skillful, it really takes on a light flight of some kind and the reader doesn't want to step off the airplane. Moreover, this poem isn't cliche at all, in my opinion, You have described a most romantic yet surprisingly realistic picture for most of the actions and ideas written are quite possible already or may be in near future. Metaphors are outstanding, as well as the comparisons - they cross out all of the slight banalities (such as "I'd feed all the starving mouths in the world", but that is really unimportant). The essentials are great. Though, since this isn't a love poem (i believe) and even if it is you shouldn't turn the scenario around with the last few lines - it bursts the bubble and doesn't contribute to the rest of the poem ("But the one thing that I would want the most Is to find the one who will eternally love me. Oh, wait! I have found him, my heart is complete! I am grounded again and in reality.") Nonetheless, this is a graceful write!



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 27, 2009
Last Updated on January 29, 2009

Author

Jewels
Jewels

HI



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