Missed-understood

Woops, forgot to include the last line!

My voice has turned red,
but I am forced to sing my life blue,
because this culture surrounding me
speaks in signs and punctuation
and cares little for what is said in between.

And now my mind turns to paranoia,
my feelings dismissed as melodramatic,
or as some pretentious person
who does not get his rocks off talking
about the same Goddamn things
over and over about the cents saved
by shopping at Kroger as opposed to Wal-Mart;

the process, never-ending

- an implied, subliminal thought that decrees conformity
to press us into perfect little gears so that our cash might flow a little faster;
it doesn’t matter the means, so long as we all have the same end.

But be sure to be quick and quiet about it, eh?

I’ve cried out for ears to listen, for reciprocate lips to cradle me,
“You are not alone.” I cannot be alone. I will not be alone.
There must be more to life than these meaningless words spat out of my mouth,
every f*****g one drier than the ones before, “What can I get you to drink?”

With every failed attempt to have meaningful conversation,
my apprehension toward sincerely engaging others grows a little stronger,
its grip a little tighter, it throttles my throat, No, she won’t care.

But whenever I do find another’s beautiful thought,
my engagement so strong,
my mouth so thirsty
to speak meaningful words;
I am too eager.

To be dead, how long? so that I might live for fleeting, breathless minutes.

I cry out to the world with streams of ambiguity
because if I spoke plainly
the world would dismiss my feelings
as being
uncomfortable.

And when expressing myself truthfully,
whether it be about depression, or anxiety,
or apathy, or history, or literature,
I am politely treated as if I have a disease,
a contagious taboo, that there is something wrong with me.

But there is nothing wrong with me;
maybe I just have feelings.

So, I lie in solitude,
an unyielding, deafening, loneliness
behind curtains of laughter
beneath bed spreads for two
besides these moments from after,
my vague pictures of you,
where I lament, never fully,

being missed-understood.

Author's Note

Any and all comments are welcome. I am always trying to improve and gain other perspectives!

Reviews

[Chris]

Truth and quibbles... a touch of vanity - no one can know the troubles I've lived and how relatable THAT must be. BUT, when you find someone that listens AND understands the routes, roles, twists, exigencies, and exhibits a true sense of the ridiculous ...life WILL have THAT flavor of "Yeah, what a b***h... sigh."

[Kibbles and Quips]

All very true. Thanks for reading!

[grimfukle]

Nicely done. You are a very interesting to read writer who chooses words and phrases carefully and with great results.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Hi! Thank you very much for reading and the compliments! I am so happy you enjoyed this!

[Relic]

The mundane subjects people come up with can bore the hell out of me. But your writing here is more than that. I think we all search for something better but find it hard to get anywhere with our feet stuck where we our. The circumstances and people we have to deal with don't make our days any better.

I commend you for sharing your feelings. It lets many people know they aren't the only ones in a boat that seems to go nowhere.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thanks! Sometimes these cathartic works are good for just that.
Thanks for reading!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This is so true. Sometimes we need to stay calm even if we are trembling inside...wear a smile and show the world that we are okay...stand and walk like we are not broken inside. We care for what people say 'cause we're afraid of being missunderstood...
But whatever depresses us, there is one thing or one person that keeps us strong.
Great lines and powerful ending.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thanks for reading and thank you for the kind words!

[Courtney Hough]

This is beautiful! I feel like you took the words right out of me. The rawness and honesty...makes it that much better. Thanks for sharing.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Why thank you!
This is definitely one of my rawer works in terms of form. Much of it is messy, but sometimes that's okay, I guess.

Thanks for reading!

[bella]

Wow this is amazing! So clear and perfect word choice.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Why thank you! I am so happy you enjoyed it. And thanks for stopping by to read.

Thanks, again,
Kibbles.

[bella]

No problem :)

[Tracey~]

I like the way you looked at others in the write then looked at your own self. Reactions of both in this crazy world. Labels fly around like s**t but mean nothing. We aren't meant' to be a duplicate mold of one another but individuals with our own diving quirks and all.. I love this..and the style your using.. Good Work.. :)