Alone

                           Alone

         

            Lying in the shadows, for many

            A year,

             A child of the night ,I have become

             Exiled from the fields of life,

             Shunned by all,sought by none

             A life most sublime

              I had once lead,

              Replete with felicity and glee

               But now,all but a mere memory

              As the sly serpent had once crept

              Into the sacred garden

              To deceive mankind

              Likewise it slithered into my Eden

              And made it my very hell

             I have walked through a valley of

             Thorns,

             Climbed rocky crags,all

             In the hope to regain,what

             I had once lost

             My attempts however remain futile

            Despite all this ,a lesson 

             I have learnt,

             A most valuable one indeed

            To bear witness 

             to the twinkling of the diamonds above

              In the bosom of mother night

            T'is a sight unparalleled in its tranquillity

        

            To see the moonlight

           Glinting off the glass of a thousand

           Buildings,

           To listen to the whisper 

            Of the lonely zephyr,

            Many a secret unveiled

  

    What I once lost,remain

    In the ashes

     But what I've gained

     Remains inimitable

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

I seem to be having a lucky streak when it comes to stumbling across fantastically written poetry today. All I have to say is wow, this poem sure excels in the quality department. This has pretty much everything it could possibly have crammed into it; sophisticated vocab, flow, imagery, atmosphere, and even allusion(which is something I don't see very often in poems on this website). I can tell from this that you have your own distinctive writing style, and it is a really powerful one!

100/100. You are a fantastic writer :)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you my friend : )

[andrew mitchell]

An enjoyable poem of thoughts and for me I felt Mystical Mother India was in the back drop somehow with serpents being Cobras. Might be just me but I enjoyed this write

[Dara]

I have always found writing poetry to be therapeutic. It seems it has worked for you as well in this powerful write. I found it very interesting and enlightening. Thanks for sharing.

[james_cooper]

Hi, Joel! I have to tell you first that poetry is not my field, but I read your poem and I liked your style. I hope the way you built the poem graphically was intended. Pretty original. Many poems seem quite confusing to me, but yours is quite clear and the reader can straightly orientate in the subject. The final was the thing I liked the most!

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you James.glad you liked it : )

[eglantine]

Very religious innuendos throughout this piece. Typical good vs evil, light vs dark. Love the use of "zephyr"

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you.I'm glad you liked it. : )
What did you mean by the religious innuendos exactly?

[eglantine]

Lots of Christianity images: the serpent, the thorns..

[Joel Armstrong]

Oh.that's what you meant.....
Sorry.silly me :)

[Augminished]

This very well written so much emotion all in one poem, truly spectacular good work. Check out my book The Frontier

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you. I'll definitely check it out

[Augminished]

Thanks :) please review it if it's not too much to ask

[Joel Armstrong]

sure.will do

[Confuser]

Joel first two stanzas drew me in - so very sad and well written..to be brought down from a higher place of love and belonging, I believe is worse, than never having had it; so somber and you continue on with a beautiful writing that is so full of emotions and visuals that carry the reader away, to that place, to the character's experience, so difficult and still survives, on upbeat realizing there's a lesson to be learned. Wow, great writing Joel. Thank you so very much. Dale

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you dale

[Confuser]

You're welcome Joel....take care young man....

[ANTO]

To go from the highest heights to the lowest low and still to retain a positive outlook - even to see more wonders than before speaks of an amazingly resilient spirit.
I liked this -
'Of the lonely zephyr,
Many a secret unveiled" - dreamy (sorry for the pun)

Just one small typo Joel - *unapparelled - (unparalleled)

Magical writing dear poet - (seeing your picture on you by the water recalls to me the first time you PM'd me to read your first poem on WC. Time flies...

[Joel Armstrong]

Thanx anto.
Sorry abt the typo.didn't see that one.
Indeed time has flown .I'm glad I made a friend

[CA Anurag Sharma]

a very good write...keeps you engaged....
" What I once lost,remain
In the ashes
But what I've gained
Remains inimitable".....
Ending made it even better,,,,

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you Anurag