Be Careful

Be Careful

A Poem by Johanna
"

What do you think?

"

Be careful when you go to bed tonight

Be careful so our hands don´t touch

We've managed to gather miles between us

and that would just be too much


There´s my side of the bed, and there´s yours

I pretend to be asleep when I hear the creaky floors

There´s my side of the story, and there´s yours

Always gathering space between us with great force


Be careful when you go to bed tonight

So you don´t say I love you in your sleep

Cause that might make it harder for us to fight

If we admit the secrets we're trying to keep


I'll be careful not to rest my head on your chest

Cause then I'd be reminded what it was like

and forget that all this distance is for the best

Be careful when you go to bed tonight


Be careful when you go to bed tonight

You might dream that we have each others heart

You might think I´ll be there when you turn on the light

But remember in this bed we´re miles apart

© 2015 Johanna


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Reviews

nice write. Maybe we've all had the sad opportunity to be in those shoes... the shoes of reverse compromise. Of not wanting to admit of the ever-thinning thread. Reminds me distincly of a great tune by Will Hoge... where the tag line, "we say goodnight, cause we just can't say goodbye". Nice job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Johanna

7 Years Ago

Thank you, haven´t been here on ages, so sorry for the late reply. Happy I found this :)
Somewhat reminds me of that Warrant lyric 'This room never felt so big/There's not enough conversation to fill the empty spaces.' You wrote this well.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Johanna

7 Years Ago

Thank you, haven´t been here on ages, so sorry for the late reply, so thank again for kind words :)
"You might think I'll be there when you turn on the light" is my favorite line. Great consistent metaphor and repetition. The repetition felt a bit strange in the fifth and fourth to last lines. I expected there to be a twist of some sort and was a little disappointed that the ending doesn't add anything new.

Overall very well done :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Johanna

9 Years Ago

Thankyou :) Love feedback, I´ll look it over as soon as I can :) What kind of a twist were you thin.. read more
I liked the poem a lot.
"Be careful when you go to bed tonight
You might dream that we have each others heart
You might think I´ll be there when you turn on the light
But remember in this bed we´re miles apart"
Wishes and dreams make us want things that are far away from us. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


Johanna

9 Years Ago

wow, thankyou for you wonderful feedback Coyote :) best regards
Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

You are welcome.
This was exciting to read.
It was beautifully written and
deeply thought out.
Thanks for the pleasure.
------Eagle Cruagh

Posted 9 Years Ago


Johanna

9 Years Ago

thank you so much. your welcome :)
-Johanna
heartbreaking. i can relate completely. i am in love with your poetry. i have no criticisms just admiration :P

Posted 9 Years Ago


Kayleen

9 Years Ago

lol no problem! ur talented you deserve some recognition!
Kayleen

9 Years Ago

do you mind if i send this as a read request?
Johanna

9 Years Ago

not at all, superawezome :)
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ron
Its so sad when two people who loved each other once, stopped loving each other.
This is a great poem about when two people stop loving each other.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Johanna

9 Years Ago

thankyou ron :)
ron

9 Years Ago

Your welcome Johanna :)
It's very sad when you're so close to someone, yet so far away when they're around. I've gotten used to this feeling with some, but it is what it is. This shows that there are two sides to every person, every relationship. The scary thought of being so attached to another, yet you still want to push away and keep your space. Emotions can run high when couples fight, but it takes two strong people to make it through. Very touching and heartfelt with a hint of romance, along with a warning.

Posted 9 Years Ago


WOW very moving, romantic, but a sad kind of romantic.
Brilliant piece as always thought, Love the way you write.
Always have always will.
Rhyming is brilliant again, so is the rest of the poem.
Keep writing :)


Posted 9 Years Ago


That is sort of funny, like you really would resist :P. jjk jjk jk..
so yeah, your writing was very beautifully done. and keep that up :)

Posted 9 Years Ago



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552 Views
11 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 25, 2015
Last Updated on January 25, 2015
Tags: yours, force, sleep, tonight, bed, go, you, when, careful, Be, keep, chest, story, side, miles, apart

Author

Johanna
Johanna

Norway



About
I´ve started to post most of my poems on my facebook poetry page instead. If you like my work, feel free to check it out: https://www.facebook.com/johannamagdalenapoetry?_rdr=p Hope you have .. more..

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