The Seedling

One night while I was dreaming,

A tree grew in my mind.

Though little but a seedling,

I took refuge in its pines.

 

On the morrow, cold and dreary, whilst walking through my thoughts,

My eyes stuck on a seedling, so I walked towards its lot.

Then my thoughts were thinking, "how strange, this could not be...

For I am in a city, yet this seedling grows on green!"

But O, I looked around me. I looked upon an open field!

Its as if my thoughts were running, through a mystery revealed.

I found my sanctuary, in the field my mind had found.

I took refuge in it's flowers, and the seedling's soothing sound.

I would visit this place often, the depths of thought and seed.

My thoughts had learned to think, and in those thoughts was peace.

 

 

That evening walking home, through the city, from the dreaming;

I felt like I was leaving from; my home, the field, the seedling.

I felt as if this city bound me, that I may never soar.

When a raven perched upon a bush, whispered to me, "nevermore".

 

--- 

 

That night I was the dreamer,

The tree grew more and more.

Its leaves forever greener,

Echo "nevermore".

 

Again whilst I was dreaming, I walked into the field,

The seedling now a gentle tree, a mystery revealed.

I slept upon its branches, and ate its fruit with ease.

I marveled in its aura, I listened to its leaves;

And then I knew the mystery, that had been revealed.

For it was in the leaves, and it was in the field.

As long as I was with them, I was as carefree as the breeze.

Nourished by their scent, I could live among the trees.

 

Now conscious, walking through the city, I took asylum in the thoughts.

I could not stay within this city, I needn't live for naught.

So in my mind, I left the city, went to the field where I could soar.

For now I understood, the city bound me nevermore;

And when I made this realization, the tree grew towards the sky.

Now a mighty fortress, and a beauty to the eye.

 

So now I walk the city, with conscious thought and word.

From my mighty fortress, leaves echoing the bird.

And in this sweet asylum, in this sacred lore;

There is a sweet raven, whisp'ring "nevermore"!

Author's Note

i meant for it to resemble "the raven" by edgar allen poe

i wrote this as kind of a tribute to that poem, but with enough originality to be my own you know :)

and i know that it does not fully make sense if you are thinking of it in a literal sense (seedlings dont have pines, nor would a tree that had pines have edible fruit); but this poem takes place in a dream and is meant as an escape from reality, so i did not feel the need to make it "accurate"

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

So now I walk the city, with conscious thought and word.

From my mighty fortress, leaves echoing the bird.

And in this sweet asylum, in this sacred lore;

There is a sweet raven, whisp'ring "nevermore"!



The indepth beauty of this poem just blows me away, John, indeed, very `Poeque` in its lovely poetic verse~am loving the seedling dream concept ofgrowing/ escaping into an enchanting forest/field feeling the surreal freedom from the stifleling reality of the city~Stunning Peice of Work!

[~LeeAnn~]

It's like you have your own little world that no one else knows about.
Great poem.

[a]

I decided to read this again, and again... well and again :), This Is Amazing!
This poem reflects you r great talant, skills and devotion to writing/reading other writers, this is a powerful, consuming, deeply emotional poem, high class poetry.
I think you should submit this piece to some kind of contest (real one's, not the Writerscafe's ones :).
This peace reflects life, death, fear and passion.
Thank you, once more, very much!

[Brittany]

Poe. Kicks. A*s.

(read "City by the Sea", if you haven't)

All in all this tribute was wonderful. Especially since it is concieved in a dream, paying homage to the "dream within a dream" line that wraps up the very essence and mind of dear E.A.

I'm also sensing a feel of duality here that is superb. The nature vs. urban sprawl, a focal point. And the subdued seedling (representing new life, beginings) vs. raven (being an icon representing death, foreboding).

Thank you for sharing this write.

[deeps]

This is so wonderful, It does resemble it.
You did a most wonderful write here.
I wrote one simliar to the Raven once.
I loved Poe. This is so wonderful
enjoyed this.

[John McGrael]

thank you to everyone who reviewed this

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like a good deal of this piece with a few exceptions. First off, let me say I adore Poe. My favorite poem by him is "Alone". It reminds me of...me. I know The Raven by rote. But I love it by heart. Anabelle Lee is another favorite. My problem with the piece is not one so much of literary style (you did quite well with the Victorian feel of the piece and the rhyme scheme) but of content. Here, for instance, "A tree grew in my mind.Though little but a seedling,I took refuge in its pines." This is a "forced rhyme" and it simply doesn't make sense. If you had said, " I took refuge in the pine", it still would sound forced but at least, it would make sense. I would have liked better an off tempo alliteration such as "limbs" which would have made sense. And again here, "I took refuge in it's flowers, and the seedling's soothing sound." Since "pines" do not bear flowers I am at a bit of a loss here; but then again, niether do "seedlings". And what sounds does a seedling make? One presumably would not even be able to hear the wind in its branches yet. As I said, the style is not the issue but, rather, the logical progression and content of the piece. Does it make sense? And, yes, I'm very picky. lol I just believe in giving you an honest review with a little helpful insight if I can to improve your skills and craft instead of just saying "great write" or whatever. But always remember, mine is only one opinion and opinions are only as important as the respect we credit to their authors. You have talent, keep writing.

[Living Proof.]

I love this; you're talented.

[Jimmy Greenie]

Never read Poe, but it's still a brilliant poem showing a great escape from reality!

[Gandré]

this was very sweet and you did a great job writing in style of Poe. Also the rhyming flows and flows. Loved.

[Lexi Nicole]

Beautiful work, I love it! A wonderful tribute to another amazing poem. You did great with this. The only thing that you might want to change is that 'I' is not always capitalized in this piece. You may want to go through and capitalize all the 'I's you missed, just to clean it up. Other than that this poem is perfect in every way. I haven't read something like it in quite a while!

-Howl