Sam Stabbed Mother

Sam Stabbed Mother

A Poem by José Humilde
"

Having some fun with a quatrain. Enjoy!

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of Sam Stabbed Mother.



In came Sam, soaked in blood red;
he sat at the table to wait.
"Sister Mary, mother's dead."
I guess dinner tonight will be late...

© 2010 José Humilde


Author's Note

José Humilde
I wanted to keep all the lines with seven syllables, but I really didn't like how it flowed. I added "he" in the second line and "tonight" in the last line, and I'm much happier. What do you think?

I wanted to attract people's attention with the title. I'm open to suggestions for any other titles!

I have no idea what is with me lately, been kind of in a "bloody" mood, I guess. Enjoy this bizarreness! :)



Reviews

It seems every writer goes through little phases. I can't seem to get out of a gay rights one... lol.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Love the irony and black humor in this little tale. Well done!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


i think you should've mastered the seven syllables with a smoothe flow, and the term "blood red" lost it for me because its such an overused expression.
the rhyming is still choppy. but the title is Excellent! and humorous in context.but
the unfortunately the poem isn't as good. let me knowmif you revise this

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


wish i could see Sister Mary's reaction :D

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


LOL. Funny last line. Nice little write, the title definitely drew me in.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


I know it sounds twisted but I thought this poem was Hilarius at first I thought it was a hiko but it was 7 7 but it was still a great write

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago



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5 Reviews
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Added on May 27, 2010
Last Updated on May 27, 2010
Tags: morbid, killing, blood, bizarre, dead, quatrain poetry, quatrain

Author

José Humilde
José Humilde

Pocatello, ID



About
I'm a simple man with a complex mind. I was born and raised in southeastern Idaho, and wouldn't change a thing. I'm a young 21-year-old Chicano who has a deep understanding for his culture. I'm.. more..

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