Dream Thief

~ a rhyming serpentine verse ~

 

 

Pale as ivory, when the moonlight’s pale
dreams of true love fill a lover’s dreams
Veiled eyes for one whose heart remains veiled
Seems his love was just not what it seems

Heart beats slowly, for deep in my heart
time stands so still in a dream like time
Part of my heart, he’s stolen in part
Crime of passion, a terrible crime

 

Sweet memories of his love so sweet
stales in daylight as the fantasy stales
Repeat at night as love’s warm repeat
Tales of romance, these bittersweet tales

Bad can feel so good, until it turns bad

Crazy for him, he tells me I’m crazy

Sad as it is, it’s true though I’m sad

Daisies smile for he’s pushing up daisies

 

Crime of passion, a terrible crime

Dreams can’t let go, he still sneaks into dreams

Time cannot heal a love out of time

Seems his love was just not what it seems…

 

Author's Note

~ a rhyming serpentine verse I've been working on and revised based on the tongue in cheek humor of Paul Robert's fantastic art ~ "Fickle Heart"

Reviews

[s y e]

Julie, I have missed reading you so much... Reading your poetry brings so much peace to me, no matter the topic, I know that in someways I'll be able to relate, and your poetry would have helped.

You always write amazingly well, no matter the subject - absolutely adore this!!

Hugs.

[MsJewel]

Thank you lovely lady. It's so nice to see you! Hugs, Julie

[Lizardo]

I simply don't have words to described this because it is beautiful, you really left me without words.
a great poem, Reallly wonderful!

[MsJewel]

Thank you :) Julie

[Einstein Noodle]

"1serpentine; from the frequent depiction of serpents with their tails in their mouths" Merriam-Webster
i also have not heard of this type of poetry verse .. how interesting .. and looking it up got the added treat about the snake and how the verse came to be called by that name .. this had to be difficult .. especially adding a rhyme scheme .. so well done .. love the story .. great pic! i imagine the biggest challenge is to keep the repetition fresh ... and ... well ... not repetitive if you know what i mean :) well done .. enjoyed the story!
E.

[MsJewel]

It was a little difficult and I'm still working on it..sometimes forms are fun and other times I wonder why I even started! Thanks for you kind words :) Julie

[Lydia Shutter]

This is a powerful one, Julie! You have always been great at writing in the forms....this is a difficult form, but you did a great job. The emotions border on the insane....which is what happens when some relationships break up. Brilliant! Lydi**

[MsJewel]

Thank you Lydi. Your comments always mean so much to me :) Julie

[MomzillaNC]

The repetition in each line lends a kind of driving sense of insanity.

[Woody]

each of your poems is a new surprise. one can never know what to expect. simply virtuoso!
love this one too, Julie.

[R Smith]

i've never seen this style of verse before, i don't know much about type's of poetry ( probably shows lol ) but this is astounding, it must be hugely difficult to work a story into a poem and then write in this serpentine fashion, its a tribute to your unique writing Julie, it oozes class and brilliance and i just love it, thank you for the serpentine verse, bloody great :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is the worst crime---and even if given back, the heart is tarnished and suspicious from then on.
dark for you...even if tongue-in-cheek...

but such good flow and imagery...as always...

liked this one a lot.

[onceloved]

You have incredible talent Julie, your writting they are a pleasure to read this one absolutely stunning poetry. poems/ emages you use comptiment one amother so beautifully again. :) Larry

[Sami Khalil]

"Part of my heart, he’s stolen in part
Crime of passion, a terrible crime

Sweet memories of his love so sweet"

You ring thew new year with form ans style. It is a crime indeed to steal someone's cherished dream and leave them bleeding in the cold of winter. I hope spring will bring much needed renewal...Excellent...:)................

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment Sami. Happy New Year my sweet friend. :) Julie

[Sami Khalil]

Same to you. You are welcome muchly....:)......