Dancing in the street

Dancing in the street

A Poem by Beka
"

The night that is supposed to be remembered above all nights. No matter what happens in your life. Who you were. This is that night.

"

 

 

I felt like a Princess

Like Cinderella come to life

And he was my Prince

Only not so much

We flowed together in ribbons of blue

Round and Round he spun me

His arms wrapped around me protectivly

His touch gentle

Like that of a butterflys wing as it brushes your cheek

Our eyes never leaving one anothers

His gaze seeing everything in me and knowing it all

Round and Round he spun me

I was aware of him

Seeing nothing but his eyes

Crystal Blue

Feeling nothing but his touch

Hot and Soft on my Waist

Tasting nothing but his breath

Sweet and Intoxicating

Round and Round he spun me

The music stopped

I felt his arms slowly leave me

My heart stopped

I closed my eyes and tilted my chin

My lips burning for the touch of his

Every part of my body ached for his touch

He did not kiss me.

 

© 2008 Beka


Author's Note

Beka
I haven't written anything in quite a while. So please excuses my rustyness and spelling, grammer, and other errors. But please give me your thoughts. Always important to me.

My Review

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Featured Review


I think that you do a very nice job at infusing feelings and images into this piece. There is a natural progression in your lines that leads to the climax of the piece and that is nice. One thing that may help this piece is separation into stanzas, as well as a few rhymes, or metaphors. To be sure a good start


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The fool... he should have kissed you! lol

Posted 14 Years Ago



Beautifully illustrative of the soaring emotions and muted, stirring passions of the sweet yearning of heart, body and mind. Truly grand...!

Nice work...tender perfection.

Daniel

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I was waiting and waiting for that moment with you. I could almost feel it, wanting it. Then...nothing. I was so sad, I could feel the loss of the moment with you. Beautifully done!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ha the end was totally unexpected! but i love it nonetheless. i loved how it combined images and feelings together!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i think prom is so overrated.. but i really liked this very descriptive

Posted 15 Years Ago



I think that you do a very nice job at infusing feelings and images into this piece. There is a natural progression in your lines that leads to the climax of the piece and that is nice. One thing that may help this piece is separation into stanzas, as well as a few rhymes, or metaphors. To be sure a good start


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow.
The end totally caught me off guard.
But i loved it.
Great Job:)

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The ending was very unexpected and caught me off gaurd....I liked that. Nothing more enjoyable to read then the unexpected. As for the boy .......what in the hell is wrong with him ? Is he crazy !!! I am sorry that your night did not end to your liking. You did a good job of painting a fairy tale image.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really felt like I was dancing. I liked the imagery, making me feel like I felt so many years ago when I was at that dating stage in life. Good job...

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed this piece.
The flow seemed cut off in the same place in each line adding the pattern.
The feel of it seems like a depressed happiness. The poet has a happy pain; to hold onto something even if it hurts. A reluctant romance I suppose.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 21, 2008

Author

Beka
Beka

Where Ever my mind is most comfortable pretending to be., OK



About
My name is Rebekha and I am a mass of contradictions and I suffer from the constant memories of my passed lives. (Not ones where you turn into insects or animals) I believe it is what inspires me to .. more..

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