The Park

A Day at the Park.

I lower myself to sit upon the rusty old bench
The dark gray metal is cold against my back.
I gaze up at the clouds
And smile.
Because I know all will be well
Now that I've escaped the trouble of my dull life.
The sun is warm and friendly on my face,
As well as the chirping birds overhead
Singing their happy, cheerful tune.
I run my palm against the cold, hard bench.

Sharp words of chatter rise and fall
Along with the soothing sounds drifting far from the speakers
Nowhere near here.
I let my worries melt away with the sound
 Like the colorful juices of the sweet ice cream.
I try not to let sleep overwhelm me
So I can marvel at the beautiful scenery of the park.
I stretch my arms upward toward the infinite blue sky,
Much like the tanned ferns reach up at the clouds beaming
With opportunity.

Author's Note

I wanted to try something different so I just took time at a park and wrote what I saw...What do you think?

Reviews

[Sneakygnome]

I like the last two lines. Creates a nice image of the fern.

To offer a critique, too. I think it would be nice to have more description, more showing and less telling. For example, perhaps in "so I can marvel at the " you could describe the beautiful scene somehow, showing the beauty instead of simply saying its beautiful. Hope that is helpful!

Makes me want to go frolic in the park!

[Jordan Easley]

Thanks for the review. I'll take what you said into consideration...I guess you can never be TOO descriptive. Thanks though :)

[Tom]

I like carefree poetry and this is exactly that. It captures very well those moments when we are free from concerns, fleeting as they may be for some, they are special and the imagery you used is perfect for this.

[writingcrazy55555]

I love your use of imagery in this poem! Great descriptions! A fantastic piece!

[Jordan Easley]

Thank you :) that's what I was going for.

[Xerclipse]

This poem takes me to a whole new place. It really relieved my stress. Great job!!

[zainul]

Very lovely work.
You have written what you have seen,experienced and felt in the park.