The last sunset - Chapter One

Shalimar is somewhat of a peculiar character. She is not always the plain Jane she seems and her believes change quite often. Imagine her if you must. Brown hair and deep grey eyes, if it weren't for her glasses and outdated sense of style, boys would find her attractive.   Born an only child in a small town near nowhere and close to nothing she had little life experience.  She spent most of her days dreaming of prince charming, someone who would rescue her from Ferland Ridge.  But never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined the change prince charming would bring.  I'd say it’s best to start her story on April 6 1986.  Yes this is the day her life began to change, even without her knowledge

 

 

It was a cold morning, strange since it was summer. 

Christine could feel the tension in the air. Something was coming, the unborn child in her womb moved as to assure her mother that she was still fine.  Christine watched restlessly as the sky darkened.  Would it rain? Or was this just the preface of a much bigger storm to come? The wind had picked up and she watched in astonishment as the birds around the house suddenly made way.  The sky had turned a deep grey now.

Something made her look to her left, and yet there was nothing.  With the dark foreboding still lingering over her she rushed back into the house slamming the door behind her.  It was then that she felt the sharp pain.  She doubled over onto the floor where she saw the puddle of water.  With great shock it dawned on her, she was going into labour.              

"John! Oh God John come quick!" She cried to her husband who came rushing down the stairs.   

"Christine? Christine what's wrong?! Is it time?!" John knelt down beside her.        

"Yes John, she's coming".                      

"We need to get you to a hospital".        

"No! John their outside, their waiting they've come for her" Christine said before giving an anguishing scream.     

"They're here? Already? But Christine how could they have known? Christine my dear, you cannot have the child here, we need to get you to the hospital!" John begged.                

"No John I am weak and cannot fend for this child, you have to listen to me.  When she is born, take her, wrap her in the red blanket.  It’s upstairs in the attic,  in the old trunk"                          

"The red blanket? Why? Christine what are you talking about?”                             

"Listen to me John; it’s important that you do exactly as I say. After you have her in the blanket take the back door and go through the woods, keep on the path no matter what you hear or see, keep on the path and don't look back.  She will be waiting for you where the road forks towards the river.”                

"Who? I don't understand my love".       

 "You will know her when you see her, she will keep her 

   save".                            

"Christine stops talking like that".             

 "Do as I say John please........".                 

As the sun started to set, the last of Christine's painful screams echoed away as the wind settled down to rest.

 

Reviews

[John Fitzgerald]

thuis is wonderful Jvonne! It took a mysterious turn I did not expect, there is divinity and pagan repression in this woman - i do wonder now where destiny will take them :)

[Eagle Cruagh]

This is raw, terrible in intensity , opening
a door to the supernatural , fixating on
"she" the unborn child and the "she " who
will meet the husband and supply the answer
to the puzzle.
Gripping drama, exciting story. please continue.
---- John

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good start to the story. A lot of situation and danger in the opening chapter. I like the feel of energy and stress in the opening chapter. A very good start to the story.
Coyote

[Joey Batz]

Good first chapter, outside of a couple spelling and grammatical errors. I love how we don't really get a backstory yet, but we do get the sense that this baby is important to more than just the parents.

[Forest Green]

Compelling segment, housed with tension and questions that necessitate another chapter...! ...where the road forks towards the river...nice touch.

Keep it going...!

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Interesting Great chapter totaly grace in writing and explaining..thaks for sharing..

[An owl on the moon]

What a powerful force for a first chapter... you create a boundless sense of mystery and more... a heart-pounding beat of dialogue and description. Excellent write!