The Breeze

The Breeze

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze

She shivered with envy
when the breeze touched his naked skin..

He got Goosebumps
seeing her quiver in the rain.

© 2016 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Thank you for your time!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

seductive and sensual

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the commentary.
ohh man! so good!!!~ i love the senryu quality of this one!!! four lines that say sooooo much about love and sensuality .. very fine stuff!
E.
ps. here is one i did a while back .. you might get a kick out of it .. its a little different take on breezes ;)
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/BorgLackluster/1414734/

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review.
Well penned Jyoti :) I love the picture you created with your words :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you Aaron!
a thoughtful approach two different things are contrasted (BODY AND BREEZE) and the sensation which is caused by them ....stupendous

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you!
Nicely done Yjoti, a well describe piece of causes and effects
when Nature and Humans engaged,,, natural actions and
reactions.is what usually happens next.. very cool Thanks.


Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you E G Ten, for your kind review.
P.S.: Its Jyoti, by the way. :)
Sensual!!, exciting!!! perfect and brief , just the essence, amazing work, thanks for sharing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Tks
This is an exciting read filled with imagery and sensuality. It's amazing, keep them coming!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your encouraging words!
Insightful and provocative, I can only imagine where this would go if you developed it into the whole story rather than just this glimpse (hint, hint, hint) let me know if you do I would love to read it as well :~)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Sure thing! Thank you so much for your comment!
It seems that they are both excited by the reactions to the others body by gentle touches! Breezes and light
rain just might be similar enough to be comparable.
Line # 4 ) I think that the word rain needs to be preceded by the word "the"
The poem has a very pre-sexuality to it that is refreshing!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Yes you got that right.
Thank you for the suggestion and the thoughtful review.
this poem has a lot of lust in it. great work!

Posted 4 Years Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1179 Views
45 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 21, 2015
Last Updated on January 20, 2016

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

Writing
Unsaid Unsaid

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Rescued Rescued

A Story by Jyoti_Ablaze