The Breeze

The Breeze

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze

She shivered with envy
when the breeze touched his naked skin..

He got Goosebumps
seeing her quiver in the rain.

© 2016 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Thank you for your time!

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Reviews

that's great, good write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you!
nicely written,
well done!


Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you!
she wanted to be that breeze and he wanted to be that rain... such a romantically creative piece...

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
....................

4 Years Ago

you are welcome :)
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Kay
I like this, because it's odd--in a good way! I love unconventional writing and I like to play around with style, too. Whether it was intentional or not, you did that. It's delicate and emotional and raw. I just love the way this poem reads, and the sensitivity and intimacy; the way these two people effect each other is so beautiful. Well done! :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
Sounds somewhat like a Haiku!
Is it one though?
By the way, what are you doing here? You really should consider getting published!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

I don't know if this is qualified as a Haiku.
And thank you so much, I just try. Glad you lik.. read more
Nahian Bin Asadullah

4 Years Ago

My pleasure.
Very nice poem!
Keep it up!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you Emily!
You got me guessing about the scene, with your perfect use of words in the few lines. Glad that I read it. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

I am glad that you liked it! Thank you! :)
Kshitij Srivastava

4 Years Ago

You are welcome. :)
quivering frame, quiver in vain, i like the way these words fell on the page. goodie gumdrops

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

I am glad you liked it! Thank you!
Well, a this is interestin. What happens next? yup, got the readers interest. Nicely done. 100 points.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
Dani The Unreviewed

4 Years Ago

Any time :)
I felt the breeze - it was very cold. You've set an interesting scene in a few words here. Well done. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you! Means a lot! :)

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1179 Views
45 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 21, 2015
Last Updated on January 20, 2016

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



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