The Proposal

The Proposal

The first time I saw you,

You were waiting for someone

Fidgeting your scarf, hair undone

Tapping the foot, really restless

Who was bringing that out of you?

I wanted to know then.

 

A strong wind blew and took my breath away

When your dazzling hair, parted from your face,

The dove like eyes, filled me with awe

And the rose petal lips, that drew in the air

Added to the mesmerizing scene, unfolding there

 

You clutched your scarf to hold it with you

Then tucked your bangs, sighing anew

You kept looking at the watch for who knows what

But each time you did that, my heart skipped a bit

For the inevitable fear that you will fade away with it

 

Just when the anxiety was about to swallow you whole,

The clouds gathered up in the sky and started to pour

I don’t know even now, what it was that day

That was bringing that out of you, letting you sway

Because it lost its significance, when I saw what happened next

 

For me, monsoon was just another season back then

But when it drenched you, it became magical at once

The little droplets made you shimmer in the light

And I saw a charming goddess standing with might

Some spell had bound me there, holding me in trance of purest sight

 

Your furrowed brows smoothed back slowly

Taking the frown and anxiety with it, briskly

Lips twitching and eyes sparkling

You transformed into a giddy child

Who would love to dance in the rain and see the rainbow in the sky

 

That was the moment, I remember now

When I decided to know you, anyhow

You captured and reined my heart from then on

What I would have done in my life, if we haven’t met

Nothing in the world could have instigated the wonders of fate

 

Twenty seven monsoons have passed since that day

I can still glimpse the child in you, happy and gay

Time and age has altered almost nothing in you

Your elegance and charm still ruffle the hues

I have gratefully lived these years under your warmth and grace.

 

All I wish is your soothing presence during my last breathe

For you are the salvation my soul will always seek

So today I dare to ask you a question of life and death

After being my only interest everyday and year on year

Will you walk down the aisle to be my wife, yet again?

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Tried to write something from a different perspective.
This is the result of pure imagination on a rainy day.
Please read, review and rate.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Sage]

You know what? The whole poem had me holding my breath, waiting for the next line. In the end, it took my breath away. As a guy let me tell you, you've done something that every guy wishes to convey but fails to do so. The verses are mesmerizing and uniquely flavoured. I love your flow of words.
Keep the words flowing! :D

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind words! Glad it can had that kinda effect.

[M P Ramesh]

Jyoti,
Love is repetitive although it seems to be possessive,
its travel is nothing shorter than waves.
the vivid description of its minute details and joy of secret movements
already captured the readers' minds as the reviews reflect.
The poet has done a intuitive look in to its future
what else a poem can generate
excellent and memorising


carry on.. pl...

MPR

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Mr. Ramesh,
I am very grateful for your beautiful insights on my work.
Thank you.

[Aero]

"Nothing in the world could have instigated the wonders of fate"

honestly i love that line. well done

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Aero. Glad you liked it.

[Blackheart]

This was indeed very beautiful. Very nicely written. Kudos to your imagination. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much. Glad you liked it.

[Gaurav]

Rainfall is the season to fall in love with. It sometimes bring sadness to those who are no longer with the lover. You draw a beautiful sketch through words. Thanks for sharing :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I love rain, it's magic falling from sky.
Thank you for your insights. :)

[Gaurav]

You are welcome :)

[McBear]

Awh! This was beautiful. c: Just remember to use lower case letters after commas/ lines.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Okay point noted. Thank you for the kind comment.

[McBear]

c: You are very welcome :D

[Einstein Noodle]

difficult challenge to write from the "other" perspective ... really captured a man's disjointed dance of anxiety .. brings sweaty palms and tongue of knots back to memories ..:) i recall so vividly the first dance i went to and actually asked a young lady to dance with me ... oh my goodness ... i never want to be young again :))) good for you in this writing .. stretch outside the limits eh!?
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Glad, it brought back some sweet memories of your past.
Thank you for the sweet review. Always appreciated. :)

[Dead]

This is beautiful!!! :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind visit, Lost rose, may you meet your destination soon. :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

For a minute there i thought this is for real, that you're really... xD xD okay, an awesome piece of poetry, and my simple mind, engulfed in flames of fantasy can have such an effect. xD beautiful piece :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you dear Danny! It's a secret wish! :D

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Ah, so i was right afterall. :) good luck with making it come true :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I will leave everything on fate! If love is really meant to happen, it will find me. :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

might as well :)

[Chirag Kumar]

This is so beautiful Jyoti. I read it again and again and could relish the love between the words. Excellent work.!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for your kind words.

[Willard Wells]

Very well done. Longer than I usually like, but it held me through the whole piece. Nice job..

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for your kind words.