Awaiting Ruins

Awaiting Ruins

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



The minutes turned into hours
Hours into days, days into months
And months into years
Eons slipped by while she kept waiting
For nothing but a glimpse of him
Her eyes were empty and dry now
But a well was accumulated of her tears
Brimming and dripping droplets of blood

© 2015 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Originally, written for a writing challenge by Bear.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

My Review

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Reviews

Tear of blood and it does seem to go there sometimes. Very nice.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review.
i strongly appease this poem, i am also waiting.........................

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Hope your wait ends soon Khatoon.
Thank you for your review.
Great depth in so few words, and you convey the emotions well, plus you use a much better picture than I did Ha! Ha! Masterfully written my friend, well done :~)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much Bear!
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Tks
This is a nice piece of work, but the only line that really caught my attention was "brimming and dripping droplets of blood". It felt like this lacked your usual natural passion, and it seemed slightly forced upon. Nevertheless, the penmanship again is of good quality, well done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Tks

8 Years Ago

Anytime buddy, you are a damn talented writer. Nice picture, by the way, I appreciate your knack for.. read more
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much, I am learning and appreciation encourages a lot!
Tks

8 Years Ago

That's the spirit!
dark and powerful........
sometimes "waiting" can leave a changed landscape in the end........
well written i loved it!
:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much, glad you liked it.
your poem describes her situation very well .. first three lines are cliche' driven .. not sure it works for me in this one ... the closing three lines are striking to me ..the introduction of blood at the end is powerful .. :)
E.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the kind review. It is much appreciated.
This is such a bad feeling, waiting for some one knowing very well he will never show up but still holding on to some hope

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Yes indeed.
Thank you for your kind comment.
Loved the poem Jyoti ;)) thank you so much for sharing ;)!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind comment.
A very nice ending to the poem. I liked how you led to the strong ending. Left the reader with visions of sadness and blood. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


It would help in my appreciation of your poem Jyoti if I had an inkling of what or whom that you might be waiting for. If I am going to be judgmental in my review, as you are asking your readers to be, I need some information that I do not have. I do not know who Bearis?

Posted 8 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Thank you for taking your time to review my work.
Bear is great poet and reviewer here at WC... read more
Perkele.7885

8 Years Ago

now. at least it all make at least a little bit of sense to this old wandering lad!
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

I am glad if it is more clear now.

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Added on October 16, 2015
Last Updated on November 2, 2015

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
Hey! I am Jyoti, have seen 21 winters pass without a trace of snow; (it never snows in the west region of INDIA). Hope to see it someday..! Believe in living and loving every moment of life.. Of cou.. more..

Writing
Unsaid Unsaid

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



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