Bewilderment

Bewilderment

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze
"

just lost..

"




Time is slipping on the sundial,

taking my life away.

Neither, do I want it to stop,

nor, do I want it to sway.

Let me get down to earth,

maybe, I will live again.

Or let my soul drift free,

passing onto another land...

© 2015 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

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Reviews

Would not call it an escapist poem but a longing for a dream land held closed in heart.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Well, maybe it is...
Thank you very much for the kind words!
Time waits for no man or woman...
As always, wonderful imagery :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Andrea!
Such dark shadows on your sundial's path. as your life seems to wander, to meander from the lighted places. Yes, you will dance in day, or find the passage into night, another world waiting for your energy to converge. Beautifully bittersweet, dear Jyoti.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much Craig, you almost described my journey! :)
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i like the use of the sun dial ... it does show the passing of time but only with the sun shinning :) a gleam of hope, happiness etc. but what i really love is the recognition and acceptance of a mortal human being with their own time to die ... guess we will all find out at the end whether we are done or must have a do over ... respect must be given for all beliefs but i am convinced there can be only one ;) may we all far well ..
E.
ps aren't you a little on the very young side of things to ponder your death :) of course it can happen anytime at all and no one is given a guarantee ..but you should wait until your 40's to begin to even give a passing thought ... that's what i think


Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you for you wonderful insights on the subject E. I appreciate them very much.
And as fo.. read more
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

:) .............
Short sweet n simply expressive... Nice flow .. Keep it up dear

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much Nupur! I appreciate your kind comment.
nupur chauhan

5 Years Ago

Urs mostly welcome dear 😊👍
That's what someone would say or think when everything goes wrong. Me too, sometimes in the past I found myself thinking like this.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Yes sometimes...
Thank you for reading.
a profound thought,loved the theme of the write

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you wordman!
Short and bittersweet, neither here nor there. Good work! I'm actually feeling like this these days.
as for Grammar, 'Passing onto another land.'
uhh as for the neither/nor usage, it sounds odd/wrong? Doesn't weight right and such structures usually require balance.
'Neither wanting it to stop, nor wanting it to sway'
or ' I dont' want it to stop, nor do I want it to sway'



Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you for your helpful insights, I will surely see what I can do in sometime, festival time in I.. read more
Eliot Knight

5 Years Ago

Your welcome!
Great wording and great poem!
Keep it up!!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you, Emily!
Life it what you make of it and we all need to make it fun! Very nice piece. Love the picture too.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Indeed.
Thank you Melissa for your commentary!
MelissaAndres

5 Years Ago

You are very welcome.

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Added on November 7, 2015
Last Updated on December 14, 2015

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



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My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

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A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



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